Shaka Zine Shaka Zine Shaka Zine Shaka Zine

Grant for the Takin'

2011-10-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry Grant! I hope you don't think we were taking you for granted. I think you're smart and talented, that's why I asked you to be on Shaka Talk. But I had a break down, and kinda drifted from blogging. I owe you.

Grant Uchida is a singing comedian, who writes his own songs, but is kinda more popular for his song parodies. Not only are his versions funny, but I also like the way he tries to shed light on touchy subjects. Most people like to lecture others about topics they feel strongly about. Grant uses humour to approach the issues, like stalking, teen pregnancy, and being broke ass.

Grant makes other videos, like his new series"Blame it on the Writers", and he also provides the voice for the main character, in our August guest ~ muppephile ~ Dane Neves's newest movie, "Giant Monsters Attack Hawaii". So his fanbase is growing.

I don't know what else he has upp his sleeve, but his wit and drive will probbly make him more familiar to local people, and probbly beyond. He cool.

(photo by Cheyne Gallarde of Firebird Photo)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Uppdate: December 23, 2011

Produced in only 14 hours, just in time for Xmas, Grant upploaded the video for his latest original song "Ho Ho Holy Crap (Commercialized Christmas)".

So Fuck Nest

2011-07-13T01:10:00.000-07:00

The organizers of "No Suck Fest 2011", my popolo huzzbin Kevin Tit, emerging artist Dana Paresa & too-smart-for-me Shawn Shits were our guests the other month. It's a DIY music fest, featuring local bands, as well as mainland guests Mean Jeans and The Dopamines. Everything kicks off with a FREE event at Mercury Bar on Thursday July 21; then officially starts at Anna O'Brien's (nee Bananna's) on Friday July 22; and finally closes with an ALL AGES night at the LOFT on Saturday July 23 (with 21+ After Party at Mercury.)
Kevin started the fest a couple years ago, and now they're trying to make it an annual thing, like other similar festivals around the country. They've been throwing major fundraisers almost all year, and even had a successful Kickstarter campaign to raise money, for plane tickets to bring out the visiting bands. But the kids have also put a lot of their own money into promoting the shows as well. Advance tickets are available, with discounts if you buy for both nights.

When we were planning the interview on our show, I told Dana to bring anyone she wanted, to give it a party-like atmosphere. Although most of the kids didn't wanna be on camera, we had a lotta fun, and I met a few new cuties who have kept my mind & hands busy. Hopefully to decompress, they'll get all fucked upp that weekend, and I'll be able to administer my Blow Suck Test on them to make sure they're ok. I'm not a doctor, but my name's D.R. on TV.

No Joke

2011-07-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

The boys are back in town. Prometheus Brown and Bambu de Pistola of Blue Scholars will be performing live at In4mation Pearlridge to celebrate the release of their new album "Walk Into a Bar". I've seen & heard their name a lot, so I assume they've played here plenny, but I rarely get to see them. In fact, I only seen them once, and that was at TooGruvz to promote the release of their Hawaii-inspired EP, endearingly entitled "OOF!".

Not too many people were there that day, so if you missed it, Edna recorded their set for us. If I don't make it to their show this time, I hope someone records it and lets us know. #iluvmyhuzzbin

Blue Scholars at TooGruvz - "Bananas"

Blue Scholars at TooGruvz - "HI 808"

Blue Scholars at TooGruvz - "Cruz"

And here's a video of HI 808, with some cameos by cuties Aaron Honozooloo, that Mad Sexy Beast Lofa, Lightsleeper Kavet the Catalyst & major iKandy Christina.

Blue Scholars - HI-808

Hello, Yellow Fellows

2011-06-16T00:44:00.000-07:00

Now that we're entering the 2nd decade of the 21st Century, will it still be all about Asians on TV? Every reality show (that's all broadcast television has become) feature some shade of Asian (my favourite being Korean) regular. But for scripted shows, they're still relegated to guest spots, or extras, from what I've seen. That's ok, because too much of a good thing is junk. Like this couple minute spot featuring Poreotics on Disney's Shake It Up, is just enough foreplay to the sock session it inspired.

Luck? Sure. Yes!

2011-06-16T00:21:00.000-07:00

All good things must come to an end.

Who's Bad?

2011-06-07T03:06:00.000-07:00

"Treble & Timbre - "Discoveries"

I must've stumbled uppon Treble & Timbre, probbly looking upp Ryan Dance Machine's blog for his KTUH radio show Timbre Tantrums.
Treble & Timbre was a singing duo, made upp of sketch comedy artists, Amanda Barrett & Michael Lucid (respectively), from their early '00's web series "Pretty Thingsss". I love their almost open-ended queer humour. It's like it almost teeters on the edge of edgy, without tipping over the top. Kinda Canadianish.Treble & Timbre - "Always a Bad Girl"

I'm really into their "Always a Bad Girl" video though, because it's like their only actual song-length tune. Most of their music is under a minute, with no real point, but to make you laugh, or at least wonder "Huh?". But this song is like a musical version of the book/bumper sticker "Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History".
The song is also a humourous version of (perhaps influenced by) Le Tigre's feminist name-dropping anthem "Hot Topic".
Although this song shares the same name of an over-the-counterculture mall mess, it still incites a little Googling of some revolutionary figures. In fact, artist Kirsten McCrea was so inspired, that she further immortalized the people named in the song, by painting them all, and having a show, making a video & then blogging about her Hot Topic Project. The only deviation was she also painted portraits of the Le Tigre band members as well (minus Sadie Benning, who was replaced by JD Samson, but whose voice can be heard on the track).
--------------------------------------------
PS: you could see more of Michael Lucid as Damiana Garcia on the Daily Freak Show, and Amanda Barrett is currently playing music with her wife Abby DeWald, in their band The Ditty Bops.

surfin' turf ala tarp

2011-05-31T02:22:00.000-07:00

I was looking upp videos of my friends' bands, and found this one by Showdown in Chinatown regulars Fun Word for "Forest" by Clones of the Queen:

I like the video for multiple -obvious- reasons, but about 2 minutes 5 seconds in, I went nuts. As a low budget drag queen, I'm always looking for cheap ways to fake something. So when I seen them boys emulating a wave ride with a skateboard on (what I thought was) a parachute, I was instantly aroused. I had to see more.

Apparently "tarp surfing" kinda blew upp and fizzled out in 2010. I'm not even sure how I figured out what to Google, but most of the videos I found were from last year. I must have blinked because I would remember something like this.

I'm not sure how to research the history of such a "sport" (there's not even a wikipedia page!), and it ain't that cool, so I'm not gonna investigate too hard.

The kids in the following video think they invented tarp surfing one day in San Juan Capistrano. Who cares if it's true?

Tarp Pits - The Birth of Tarp Surfing

The guys in the video below are purty funny. Plus there's so many shakas in the video, I got tired of capturing them.

They claim to have been tarp surfing champs back in the day. I like the way they have other guys looking like they're paddling out. I can't explain everything that turns me on about this pseudo-sport: from the camera work, to the way these two unrelated things reference another experience that you can almost feel.

Ruse Entertainment

I was able to find some of 2010's greatest songs by looking upp tarp surfing videos. One of my new faves is "The Key" by Ou Est le Swimming Pool. Unfortunately, I also learned that the band won't be doing much else since the singer killed himself after accidentally hurting a fan at a show.

Regardless of your story behind tarp surfing, apparently "Animal" by the group Miike Snow is the anthem or theme to the activity. Along with the Ruse video above, I found a few others, including some local boys working it out to the same song:

Konapipit

As embarrassing as it is to admit I've grown upp in Hawaii, and never once attempted surfing, the kid's wipeout at the end of this clip isn't as intimidating (looks fun), although other vids have shown some semi- rough rashes and gashes.

ZapponieProductions

I thought it was weird that most of the clips I found were from last year, with hardly anything prior or after. But shit blew upp, and there's clips from Burning Man, down under to Australia (with another Miike Snow song), & all the way to France. There was eventually a second in an Apple ad ... then soon after, tarp surfing was in a Mountain Dew commercial. At the corny tarpsurfing.com, their last blog entry was a posting of the commercial. So as soon as it broke big, is purty much when it died. I guess when you get co-opted by a Coca-Cola product, you've broken out, but broken down.

It's okay. As inspired I was by the many implications of tarp surfing, and their applications in my every day life, the visuals in the Forest music video at the top, will probbly leave more of an impression on me over time. It's got all the elements: Polynesians, surfing, skating, hidden identities, exposed buttocks, homemade Mexican food & regurgitation.
My friend at Laka Zine says the end reminds him of 2 Girls 1 Cup. I see it more like when a mommy bird regurgitates food to her chicks. Either way, it's an expression of love.

Girls will B-Girls

2011-05-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

My high school friend & ex-roommate B-girl Nikki "Olopop" Guess said she could do our show, and found her friends Remedee and Yoda Laneski were available that day too. These dancing ladies were so much fun, I hope they like the way the show turned out.

When we shot this inteview, we hadn't yet found any video footage for Remedee or Laneski. But the show must go on, so we used the same clip we had of Olopop, dancing to another friend Jason Tom beatboxing. Each time we introduce a video for the other girls, in the studio that day, we just seen that same video, so when we make reference to the their videos, we're kinda just faking it. Sorry. That's showbiz.

Even after the shoot, due to scheduling & techno-snafus, we still had a hard time finding stuff. Finally, just a couple days before our Olelo deadline, Edna played some tricks & used her magic to put together some b-roll footie of Remedee & Laneski. Whew! Even though Edna doesn't say much in this episode, Shaka Talk would not happen without so much of her time & energy.

Shaka Talk #21 B-Girls (1 of 2)

Olopop was our first guest, and the other girls got kinda nervous when they heard my first question to her about having been homeless a while ago. Prior to the cameras rolling, I asked Olopop if I could mention homelessness. I'm so glad she said yes, because it's nothing to be ashamed of, and could happen to anyone. You might not even know if someone you work for, go to church or school with, or party at the same clubs with, has a place to stay.

When Olopop and I used to live together, people used to be so impressed with who my roommate was. A lot of them grew upp watching her on the old tv show "Breakin' Hawaii". This was back when hiphop was just starting to spread nationwide, and Cilly's nightclub (that used to be where Tatoolicious is now) used to have a show featuring local break dancers, poppers and lockers.

After years of dancing tap & ballet when she was a little girl, Olopop was at Makiki Park one day, was fascinated by this new style of dance the boys were doing, but they wouldn't let her dance with them. Then, at the Makiki Day festivities, Olopop got the director to overrule them, and made the boys let her go onstage when they did. Instead of letting her dance with them, the boys just gave her a solo spot, but that gave Olopop the chance to show people what she could do without the guys in her way.

She heard about Breakin' Hawaii on the last day of auditions, and made it there just in time to be accepted, and eventually a regular on the show.

Like I said, we didn't have video clips of Laneski or Remedee, so it's kind of a joke on set when we talk about what we just saw. But besides being a dancer, Laneski is also a champion surfer. The footage of her on the waves is actually compiled from other videos of her, that Edna slammed together fast kine.

Laneski used to dance with the Seattle Circuit Breakers in 1983, after being inspired by Michael Jackson moonwalking on tv. Back when she first started dancing, b-boys would laugh at the notion of "b-girls". Being female & white, she remembers all the ways people in society used to segregate themselves, and credits hip hop for being the reason we have someone of mixed race in the White House right now.

Remedee is "new school" compared to Olopop & Laneski, but has been a b-girling for over 8 years. Her generation is sometimes referred to as the "gold school" by earlier groundbreakers, because now that hip hop is part of mainstream culture, there aren't as many obstacles so younger dancers are able to capitalize on their talents. But Remedee acknowledges the contributions of those who came before, and feels "blessed" to have such great mentors as well as opportunities.

Shaka Talk #21 B-Girls (2 of 2)

Having to brake down so many boundaries during the unenlightened '80's, sparked an entreprenurial streak in Laneski. "It wasn't cool for girls to do active stuff." That's why she not only had to fight for respect as a dancer, but it also led to her creating the first pair of boardshorts for female surfers, "before Roxy." Now she runs her own clothing line called Us Girls, including the graffiti designed tank top she wears on the show.

Like the other girls, Remedee is also trained in other forms of dance. However, she didn't expect us to find the clip that finally made it to air. In the video that Edna found last minute, Remedee sings a tradtional Japanese song, that I hear is about a girl who burns down her house because she has a crush on a fireman. I could be wrong, but check out her shoes in the clip. It's just red rope tied around her feet kinda like "cat's cradle". Fierce.

The girls teach workshops at various places, including Diverse Arts Center. While showing us some basic moves, I lose a breast, but that doesn't deter from the lessons. We learn some upp-rock "the standing dance that you do before you get down on the floor." They also get into so ticking & tutting, locking & popping (which used to be referred to as boogaloo). After we get down on the floor, they challenge us to put what we learn together, and I'm surprised how well Edna and I do.

Finally, the girls treat us to a display of their skills. It's cool to see the different styles of movement, and the personal styles of each dancer. Thanks to Ted de Oliveira aka Front Business for providing some tracks to dance to.

Flem Fist

2011-05-05T00:53:00.000-07:00

May 12-15, 2011 is the 22nd Annual Rainbow Film Fest in Honolulu. Our friend Cheyne from Firebird Photo, who was on our show recently, shot the key artwork for their promotions campaign. To show that everyone is welcome & hopefully represented, the photos for the Fest include depictions of all types of relationships, including of course, guy on guy, lovely lezzie, freaky bi-pervs, and a monster embodying all genders and abominations thereof. We of course, opted to show the group shot, before they took all their clothes off and did what you expect people of their persuasions to do.

There's a novel commentary about the campaign pics in the trailer for the movie short film "Beasty Training", (by some hottie I just discovered & am now instantly obsessed with) that's playing in the festival on Friday the 13th:

Also playing on Friday the 13th (and the real reason I'm taking that day off) is "The Advocate for Fagdom", a documentary about Queercore Canadian filmmaker Bruce LaBruce.

Among those interviewed to give their impressions of LaBruce, are legendary writer/director, John Waters, Bruce's "Hustler White" co-director Rick Castro, and sexual photographer Richard Kern.

As luck would have it, I met Bruce LaBruce on the day of the OJ Simpson car chase, way back in 1994. If I remember correctly, it wasn't too long after a major earthquake in LA, and on that day there was a big basketball game on TV.

Bruce and I had just been introduced by our mutual friend Vaginal Davis (also in the documentary), before she took off to return the truck she had borrowed to move into her new place, since her old apartment had been damaged in the recent earthquake.

Bruce was totally engrossed in the basketball game, when the news broke in with reports of a high-speed police chase involving a Bronco. No matter what channel you turned to in LA, there was live footage of the chase. Bruce was pissed! The channel broadcasting the game eventually superimposed a mini picture at the bottom of the screen, so we could watch the game. But it was ruined.

We were intrigued by the non-event that soon took over every station on the dial. Nothing seemed to be happening, but everyone was watching. We couldn't excape it. Frustrated and bored, we started wondering if the chase had affected Ms. Davis's travel route. She was taking a long time.
We knew the people who ran the rental place were Asian immigrants. We started hypothesizing that the car rental people had heard about the hunt for a murderous big Black dude in a white truck, and when Ms. Davis showed upp, we figured they detained her while one of them alerted the authorities. We imagined her performing various "acts" to prove she wasn't the man they had seen on tv. She probbly offered to lick whip cream out from between their toes, or singing one of her songs about dick.

Eventually Ms. Davis came home, unscathed, and without a story to tell. We told her what she had missed, then all the devious delights we fantasized she partook in to prove her innocence. I think we went to IHOP after that. Bruce was still grouchy about the game being interrupted. I never seen him in person after that. Last time I ran into Ms. Davis, it was by accident in Berlin, where she now lives. I hope she's gotten over herself by now (or at least forgiven me, but I guess that last comment ruins my chances of that).

The 22nd Annual Rainbow Film Fest, May 12-15, 2011
Honolulu Academy of Arts, at the Doris Duke Theatre, 900 Kinau St.

Ho, I neva know....

2011-05-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes having gay friends can be advantageous. My roommate found this one for me. I was there at the show, but I don't really remember much about that night. Must not have gotten that close, 'cause then why wouldn't I watch the whole thing? I do remember a few false starts & do-overs. For some reason I seem to remember Jason Mungen being there. I could be wrong.

Britney Spears - Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know - Live in Hawaii

For Daze

2011-04-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

Right on! I'm in the middle of Kaleem Aftab's book about Spike Lee called, "That's My Story and I'm Sticking To It". So far, it's purty much about Spike's rise to fame, as an African-American filmmaker during the 1980's & '90's. This was just as Hip Hop was braking out of the ghettos, and emerging as a force to influence global culture. But Spike's focus remained on the politics & dynamics of race in America, specifically as it affects Black Americans.

School Daze (1988) - Trailer by Melvin-X

I love racism, expecially intra-racial kine. And Spike's second movie "School Daze" was probbly the first to turn me onto it. It's about students at Mission University, an all-Black college. But contrary to popular belief, they DO NOT all look alike. In fact, they segregate themselves - get this - along colour lines! The dark-skinneded "Jigaboos" flaunt their heritage by wearing their hair nappy & natural. The light-skinneded "Wannabes" iron their hair & bleach it, and even wear coloured contacts.

School Daze: Good or Bad Hair

The movie also depicts a conflict between Black Nationalists protesting the school's non-involvement with African politics, versus Gamma Phi Gamma fraternity & their disinterest in the issue. I think. I gotta watch it again. But I love how Black people avoid violence, and like break dancing, express their rivalries thru art. School Daze was the first time I ever seen Step Dancing, too.

School Daze Step Show

I don't know how come the guy at the beginning of the clip above is holding a shaka. Maybe it's a shout out to Shaka Zulu? The weirdest thing about this scene, is how it starts off with - and even has a sign saying - "Ice Ice Baby". How insulting must it have been for the Whitest Rapper to go worldwide with a hook stolen from a Spike Lee Joint?

I still haven't seen all of his films, but I love how Spike Lee gets us to rethink about the way we live and understand things in America. Who would have thought he was a fan of musicals? He's not haole, female, or gay. Talk about braking stereotypes. But of course he lives upp to one in a big way. Spike Lee likes to watch girls with large asses shake them. With his East Coast pre-cursor to Baby Got Back, E.U.'s go go classic "Da Butt" became a dance sensation across the nation, thanks to School Daze, and Spike's video for the track.

EU - Da Butt 1988

I'm only halfway thru the book, so I don't know how he dies (or is he in jail?), but I think Spike would be happy about the progress we've made in America, when it comes to race. We have a mostly Black family in the White House, and Copper Cab has apologized for slavery (on MLK Day ~ how symbolic). I think we can all just get along now.

Apology For Slavery

Wake Upp!

C'est La Vie

2011-04-12T23:51:00.000-07:00

Cheeky Girls "Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)"

I blame 911. While in the US, we were busy believing everything the tv told us ("get the terrorists over there, before they come over here" or something.... weren't they already here? Ain't that how it happened?), meanwhile the rest of the world was gettin' cheeky with it.

The Cheeky Girls - Popstar The Rivals Auditions

Transylvanian twins Gabriela & Monica Irimia, aka "The Cheeky Girls", were trained ballerinas who, while on holiday in the UK, tried out for the American Idol-esque show "Popstars: the Rivals". Their spirited audition aroused the interest of record label Telstar, who signed them & produced their top 3 hits: "Touch My Bum", "Take Your Shoes Off", & their re-written cover of Boney M's "Holi-Holiday".

Cheeky Girls "Hooray Hooray It's a Cheeky Holiday"

Unfortunately, fame didn't necessarily bring the Cheeky Girls happiness. When Telstar went bust, they allegedly owed the girls over £2 million. The poor girls then started getting bills from people who had helped them in their career. One was the director of their video "Cheeky Flamenco", who had a lot to say about the situation in the description for the video on youtube.

Never ones to give upp on their ambitions, they started doing a lot of TV shows, that tested not only their mental but emotional aptitudes.

"The Cheeky Girls on Discovery Channel's Brainiac"

I can't find their appearance on The Weakest Link, but on Brainiac, they show the effects of stress on a person's performance doing different tasks, like touching bums. I also can't embed the videos for their appearance on the UK TV show "Fool Around With", during which the girls must live in a house with 4 guys, and must put the guys through tests to see which of them is truly single.

During the show, one of the twins falls for one of the boys, who even got naked to convince them that he doesn't have a girlfriend. The guy's name is Graham, and he kinda looks like a guy from their "Have a Cheeky Christmas" video, so it's not surprising that she kinda falls for him. The show's a trip, and the girls get naughty. I don't think American audiences could handle the way this show goes down, but I'd go down on Graham.

Here's an aptly named video of the whole series in fast forward:

X Ray Spex - Obsessed With You feat Cheeky Girls (sPEeDYsNEaKYmiX)

A couple years ago, they started their own make-upp line, presumably marketed toward a younger audience. The fruity fragrance smells so delicious, they consider calling it "eat me", "no, eat us!"

Cheeky Girls Cosmetic Range"

What fascinated me about these girls, aside from their accent, sisterly chemistry & cheekiness, is their work ethic & humility. Even after their smash hits, fame & eventual bankruptcy, they went on another UK wannabe show, Simon Cowell's "Britain's Got Talent." As trained dancers, they wanted to show their talents lay way beyond being Pop Tarts, giggling & shaking their ass. They made it thru the first audition, but not to the semi-finals.

Britain's Got Talent 2010 "Gabriella & Monica (Cheeky Girls) & Darius"

Amidst their trials & tribulations, Gabriela (the more feisty twin) seems to be hounded by headlines, including her well-publicized 2005 affair with UK politician Lembit Opik.

Earlier this year, she was arrested & "cautioned", for stealing groceries.

I haven't had a chance to read every article, and watch every video, but if I find anything else newsworthy, I'll let you guys know. Hopefully them pesky terrorists don't conspire to distract us again, before Monica & Gabriela make it big in the US. Considering what they've been through, and have still persevered, their indomitable spirit would get us through any kinda tragedy, and should be an inspiration to us all. Celebrate 10 years of survival by getting their 2011 Calendar!

I'll leave you with a clip of their 2010 performance of I'm Too Sexy, at what I think was an English Gay Pride party. Again they re-write the lyrics, so although it doesn't officially count, they say they're too sexy for their phone, and make a pseudo "Shaka".

Cheeky Girls - I'm Too Sexy LIVE"

Untrannyphobic

2011-04-02T17:39:00.000-07:00

My favourite movie of 2010, and fave movie ever shot in Hawaii, is One Kine Day. Read what we posted last year after seeing it at HIFF (twice), or just watch our talk with the Director Chuck Mitsui, and star Ryan Greer. Just don't tell all the boys we name-drop, what we say about them. And thanks to Super CW for hooking us upp with these cuties!

Shaka Talk #20 - Chuck Mitsui & Ryan Greer part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk #20 - Chuck Mitsui & Ryan Greer part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk #20 - Chuck Mitsui & Ryan Greer part 3 of 3

Staid Upp

2011-03-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

we parked across the street from Hawaii Theatre last night. saw some artists at work.

Snitch You Wookiee Asian

2011-03-17T07:32:00.000-07:00

So alla my friends wanna go raving this weekend. I can't handle full-body highs no more, so I hope (if we go) that I can find a place to smoke my God-made herbs, instead of them designer dopes the kids are still fond of these days.

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

Lately...

2011-03-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

We finally moved into our new place, but it ain't easy getting online upp here. Sorry for the delay. We were pre-empted by tsunami warnings last week, so we get a special bonus airing on a different channel this week.

Photographer Cheyne Gallarde of Firebird Photo is probbly the first friend I've made through social networking, and he turned out to be really cool. He's a performer, designer, photographer, stylist, and geek. Told you he was cool.

We had been hoping to have him on our show, but I'm always kinda shy when approaching possible guests, because a lotta people think they're too cool for public access TV. But Cheyne's so cool, people asked if he'd been on our show, so it was kind of a mutual invitation/request. I'm happy, because we had so much fun.

We still haven't seen the pics from our shoot, so hopefully we'll be able to post them soon. So busy dat one.

Shaka Talk - Cheyne Gallarde ~ Part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk - Cheyne Gallarde ~ Part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk - Cheyne Gallarde ~ Part 3 of 3

Do the Right Thing

2011-02-21T02:45:00.000-08:00

I forget what channel it was on (never even heard of the show), but "America Now" reported that Honolulu has some of the worst traffic in the U.S., making local drivers susceptible to road rage. They interview a UH professor, who recommends throwing a Shaka, instead of sticking finger, when you feel yourself losing your temper on the road.

Whatever.

ps: I don't know who them kanes are in the picture above, but if that's you or you know them, hook it upp! Leave a comment. We go smoke, or eat, or oof, or sumting. I'm buying.

Swoono Croono Shakes His Shaka

2011-02-19T22:58:00.000-08:00

Although the song that won him the Grammy for "Best Male Pop Vocal" contains this decade's most trite and hackneyed word (the only thing I'd replace), my huzzbin Bruno Mars has become a super success story for yet another Oahu artist.

"Mars is the first national recording artist with Hawaii ties to win a Grammy for a debut release since Bette Midler won the Grammy for best new artist in 1973."

Having sung over rap, reggae & doo-wop melodies, even impersonating Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson, this Puerto Rican/Filipino has managed to master every shade of Black. Recently he's had so many simultaneous radio hits, he's like a boy Rihanna. And with a repertoire as diverse as the islands' multicultural influences, Bruno's just one example of Hawaii's major musical talent, just waiting to brake the surface and surpass expectations.

I love it that in the first line in one of his cash is king collabs, he sings the line "so fuckin' bad." Honest and open, he's crooned about co-dependency; loves to luxuriate in lethargy; suffers from self-delusional schizophrenia; admits to indulging in alcoholistic escapism; and exhibits sexy bits of sundry suicidal symptoms. Hell, he's even plead guilty to cocaine possession! Boy's not only cute, but he's real & relatable too!

The Grammy site better get Bruno's performance and acceptance speech upp soon. I doubt he'll release a sex-tape, so seeing his anticipation build-upp as they announce the nominees, then the ecstatic flood of emotions as his name is called is probbly the closest I'll ever get to watching him orgasm. Hopefully the following Euro-uppload don't get shut down too soon.

PS: A hot chic from Hawaii also won a Grammy this year too. Tia Carrere won for "Best Hawaiin Music Album" (sic). She let her longtime friend/collaborator Daniel Ho make the acceptance speech. Daniel's cute, but sounds skosh muffy. Not my T.

ps: here's another Shaka shot from Bruno's recent local concert, shot by honozooloo.

Mad Feeling

2011-02-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm angry at myself. I thought I had this show wrapped upp. I been stalking & cruising with these boys for a little while. I'd emailed, texted & called them a bit before the taping, sent them an outline of how I thought things could go.

The day of the shoot came & not only did my co-hostess Edna flake, but one of the boys didn't even bother to contact none of us. I'd hoped the boys would perform, but they forgot to bring a track. Even if they wanted to sing over a track, one of 'um was missing. (In lieu of a performance, they woke upp their boy Keneke the Great, to come by and show us some of his moves & explain an online feud they're having with an old friend).

So, although these guys had one of my favourite CDs of 2010, I don't even play any of their music on the show. Luckily, these boys are cool, and agreed to let me give them a better representation of them in a future show.

So please watch and enjoy this rough draft of my interview with Osna, Mic Tre, and Krystilez, 3/4 of Angry Locals

Shaka Talk - Angry Locals part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk - Angry Locals part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk - Angry Locals part 3 of 3

Anarchy Rules!

2011-01-14T19:12:00.000-08:00

Last year we entered the 'Olelo Volunteer Awards. It was one of the few competitions I ever entered in a while. Just for fun kine, but I was wondering if our show was something that critical people might appreciate. The rules were your entry had to be 5 minutes long, so we put together a montage of Episodes #1 thru #6, which qualified since they aired in the calendar year 2009.

My usual co-host Edna Mc Man is kinda happy about that she's not in this year's awards entry, because last year, at the ceremony, she and I got dollied upp and tried to act not-too-anxious. We were super-flattered though, when one of the girls serving mac-salad in the food line, started singing our theme song to us. It was a low-key affair, and people were friendly, but you could feel the anticipation in the air.

We were surprised that the award in the "Arts & Entertainment" category was given out first. That's the category we entered. The people reading the names of the finalists on stage, only read 3 names. Shaka Talk wasn't one of them, so we already knew we weren't gonna win. I think we clapped for the winner, and everyone else the rest of the night. It was strange to know we were losers at the beginning of the show, and have to sit through and hear accolades & be happy for shows and presenters we were unfamiliar with.

Who watches enough public access tv to know every show? My favourites are the Samoan shows for the dancing, and Deutsche Welle because it reminds me of anonymous sex in a German hotel room. Other than the angry Hawaiian lady, or Kamuela Vance productions, I can't remember too many other shows. Sorry folks. We air Thursday nights at 11:59pm Hawaii Time, so it doesn't surprise us that our audience ain't that big neither. (no forget my huzzbin BBJ's 808 Scene Friday Nights on Channel 52, featuring local -lotta hardcore- musicians)

Well the awards for shows that premiered during 2010 are coming upp. There's the same 5 minute rule, but ont the flyer this year, they ask that contestants' video entry represent a single show, to make it easier for the judges. Basically, the best 5 minutes from one episode.

We were going through a lotta lunacy, and the usual technojinxery, so editing became a challenge. Luckily, Season 1 (Sept '09 thru May '10) was already cut down into what we like to call "Shaka Shorties." Over the Summer, we crammed 9 half-hour episodes into 3 shows, each with highlights from 3 interviews. Make sense? Whatever....

So we took what I thought was one of our more important shorties for a show from 2010. We'd already edited it down to 7:58 minutes long, which made it easier to trim down to what we think are the essence of our guests' art, and their mission.

This Year's 'Olelo Awards Entry

Our guests were Nandita Sharma & Gaye Chan, aka "Eating in Public". They're artists who've perpetuated a movement, together, and with help & support of friends & fans. Nandita & Gaye have so far kicked off 3 projects: Gardening without Permission, setting upp Free Stores, and (their most visible) HI-5 Recycling Bins aka "Take Leave Whatevas..."

TAKE ~ Act Without Shame
LEAVE ~ Share Without Condition
WHATEVAS ~ Trust Without Apology

Since 2003, Eating in Public has encouraged acting without asking. Do the right thing, but don't wait for someone to give you permission. Even if you encounter opposition or even conflict, just go for it! Work it out!

Tres Punque, if you aks me, and that's I'm so happy we had them on our show.

Edna wasn't able to make it to the taping that day, so my high school chum Malia "DJ Ms. Martini" Slusarenko was kind enough to sit in as co-host. Malia's been a very busy mommy this year, and hasn't even seen the show during which we chatted. But I'm grateful to her for coming to my rescue during a rough day. The staff and crew at 'Olelo have been more than helpful all this time, and I believe Hawaii is so lucky to have their services, and staff.

Most of all I need to thank Edna. If not for her, our show would be way messier than it is. She does most of our tech work, keeps me sane when I'm stressing out about the show, and helps keep our interviews balanced and on-track. Whether we win this year or not...even if our show doesn't last for long. Thank you Edna, for helping make our show so fun, and for helping me through this last year, and the coocoo chaos I always seem to attract. I love you girl.

SK808 of Mind

2011-01-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

The Hawaii Pacific Roller Derby girls are having a big event Saturday January 8, ALL DAY from 12noon to 8pm, but we couldn't air this show until the day before, because of our studio's policies that it's gotta air on 'Olelo before we went public. After shooting, we had major technical difficulties with this show. But the boys in the 'Olelo Media Center are so helpful, and way over & beyond the call of duty, to help us get everything TV ready. The girls were hot too, a little richter at some points.
They have events all the time, so keep an eye out for some bad ass booty-bashing, ball-busting babes on wheels.

Shaka Talk #17- Pacific Roller Derby part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk #17 - Pacific Roller Derby part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk #17 - Pacific Roller Derby part 3 of 3

the lighter side of the falling sky

2010-12-29T04:18:00.000-08:00

I will soon not have the job I've held for about 6 years. Nor will I have a place of residence. No car. And I think I'll be officially single. So much will be new.

I've heard life begins at 40....so what was I doing all this time? And what's upp next? I think I'm ready. But am I prepared?

To kinda get how I feel, read the rose-coloured instructions between the videos below. Kinda Dark Side of the Rainbow aka Dark Side of Oz-ish.)

Works best on a big screen, because my feelings of ex-static ennui are that immensely intense.

Happy New Year, y'all!

(Hit Play and then Pause both videos. Wait until they're fully loaded, then hit Play on the second one, below. About 10 seconds in, hit Play on the top one above.)

a small portion, to be polite. With cheese.

2010-12-19T09:08:00.001-08:00

My friend Jackie Beat has written a lot of songs and parodies in honour of Jesus's birthday. In fact she's infamous for her annual Christmas shows, during which she twists and perverts traditional holiday songs and themes. She even brought her show to Hula's a while back!

Apparently this year's show is called "All You Can Eat", which is still stunning as we go to print. Unfortunately she's not bringing her buffet to the islands this year, but I served upp some samples to savour, in honour of our saviour.

Jackie's done a lot of work with photographer & video director Austin Young. "Santa's Baby"tells the story of a woman date-raped on Jesus' Birthday, and her internal torments & turmoil.

Her show could be described as info-tainment (which Jackie'd probbly appreciate, since she's a late-night TV addict). I love how she manages to make fun of both Black and White people, while teaching us about Kwanzaa, an ethnic holiday Americans pretend to acknowledge, though we know even less about it than we do about Hannukah.

Oh, and by the way, Jackie's Fuckin' Brilliant!

Her aptly put site JackieBeatRules.com is held upp a skosh, but keep checking for chances to see her live show, or buy her CDs.

Get off to Jackie's other band Dirty Sanchez, whose album was "Really Rich Italian Satanists" was influential in determining the direction of electronic music, stage shows - even sexual mores - over the past decade.

You may also recognize Jackie from several of her many film & tv roles, including "Flawless" with Robert DeNiro, or "Flawless" with Tera Patrick, and "Blue Movie" with Jenna Jameson.

I was craving some levity, and wanted to share. Didn't mean to forcefeed or overstuff y'all. If you still can't get enough, she'll sometimes throw you a bone if you visit her home or just follow her. If you do, I've been there too. Consider yourself warned: Her enormous talent & monster ego are a feast for the senses and bit tough to swallow at times. But it's definitely fulfilling and good for you, if you don't bite off more than your stomach can handle. Bon appetit!

Shaka Kalikimaka, you fakas!

Hea Sculpta

2010-12-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

Last Halloween I got to visit my friend AJ Catalano in his Hollywood home, soon after he had wrapped working on Disney's latest movie "TRON Legacy". I had forgotten my wig when packing, but I did pick it upp after our talk, right before we headed to some pervy Mexican bar. AJ wound upp ditching me there, while I made out with some fat Black dude in front of Denny's. I forget how I got home.

Shaka Talk - AJ Catalano Part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk - AJ Catalano Part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk - AJ Catalano Part 3 of 3

chasin' waterfalls

2010-12-19T08:45:00.000-08:00

Life's outta control. Losing my job, my house, my bf. I tried, but coulddn't write nothing gobsmacking about my friends i tramonti in time to be cool. But we had so much fun that I want y'all to catch the show, so if you got time, check it out:

Shaka Talk - i tramonti part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk - i tramonti part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk - i tramonti part 3 of 3

Check yo'self before yo'self wrecks you

2010-12-12T20:42:00.000-08:00

The year's almost over, so this entry might seem outdated. But it ain't. We should all know our bodies this intimately, even when we're not trying to get-off. You can protect yourself, as well as others. And if you don't find nothing wrong, go do something nasty. (but safe)

I used to think I had the Power of Prevention. While my friends were out there getting STDs, fagbashed, pregnant, or arrested, I would somehow avoid trouble, by being cautious. Following my gut. Knowing all the good hiding places. Lifting with my legs, not my back. Making it a habit to look both ways, before leaving the scene of a crime. And liberal amounts of Clearasil & sunscreen.

Sometimes I'd spend hours getting ready for the klub, but when everybody was jumping into the carpool, I'd refuse to leave the house. As if some invisible entity was guiding my way, warning me to stay outta Waikiki. A guardian angel? Menehune? Lonely ghost? Then my roomie forgot something, so when he got back, I was caught sitting backwards on the toilet, magazine & ashtray on the tank, smoking pot & jerking off. It was then I realized/admitted: I'm just a paranoid pothead addicted to porn.

Well, I've seen each movie in my collection about 10 times each, and they just don't do it for me no more. So I'm stepping out into the World. Taking chances. All the quotebots on Twitter say if you're not making mistakes, then you're not risking anything. or doing much. or gittin' her done. Sumpin' like that. I shoulda favourited them tweets. Whatever. I'm coming outta my room, into the light, ready to take back the night.

But safety first...
I'm not a hypochondriac, though I'm very OCD when it comes to washing my hands & wiping my ass ...like I do it all the time. That's why the end of the year is my favourite. I love to re-gift all the candy, gifts and food; get to fake it with my family. But most of all, I love the last few months of each year, because they're all about Prevention & Awareness. Stopping something bad from happening (or at least catching it before it's too late).

October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Everybody should be squeezing tits all year, but October is the only time you could say it in public. Good thing no one reads my blog, 'cause I'm gonna suggest we all do it. NOW! You know you wanna. Next October is about 10 months away, and if we wait, we might realize that them bumps in our bras ain't the ones we asked Santa for.
Reminds me of High School. I think it was apartment 315 of Century West, in Salt Lake. I was feeling myself upp for whatever reason, and noticed my left boobie was a little sensitive, and kinda harder than the right one. Maybe even bigger? Good thing I'd had sex-education in school before Reagan took office, or else I might played with my titty hard-on until it exploded with discharge.

But I'd already learned to jerk-off, so I screamed for my mom. It was so shame, as I showed her my tit and said it hurt. I fought back tears & giggles, while her middle & pointer fingers were dancing on my nipple, poking & prodding, promenade & dosey-doe. When our eyes locked in fear, it wasn't long before we were at the Military Free Clinic. I don't remember much. I was just happy to have a male doctor fondling my boy-boobs, and telling me it's normal and that everything will be alright. He just didn't mention "this'll be our secret", so I feel like it's okay to tell you: I didn't have Breast Cancer when I was 14, and after frequent (often involuntary) checks, I still haven't found anything suspect.

Nowadays, November becomes Movember, where guys & girls grow a mo' (short for moustache) to remind everyone about all the cancers men are prone to, including the number one killer Prostate Cancer, and it's close friend Testicular Cancer. I don't do anal, so I forgot it was about my prostate, but everytime people would comment about my 'stache, if I wasn't already, I'd immediately start juggling my balls, and encourage whomever I was with to check their own. If they didn't have no balls, I'd assure them, mine were just fine, but they could check if they wanna be sure. Over the years, I've earned the people of Hawaii's trust; therefore they instinctively took my word for it, and turned down the offer to feel my sac to see if I was lying.

Brandon Reid (uber-duper cutie from the Manifest) musta really wanted his friends to manhandle themselves as much as I think about it, 'cause he spearheaded the "Manifest Man Challenge". For a promise not to shave for the month of November, and a pledge of $15, he got 62 of his friends to raise almost $1000 for the American Cancer Society. I had to do drags 3 times last month, plus beards absorb & counteract Clearasil, so I broke Brandon's rules, by only growing a moustache, and shaving my cheeks & chin. I still looked ugly, but at least it was in honour of balls.

Finally, December kicks off with World HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, and continues all month.

I grew upp in the 1980's when AIDS was the latest craze. All the cool people were getting it, but no one was talking about it. It was like an exclusive club that a lot of people were honourary members of, but they didn't want to join. My uncle Carlos died from AIDS, but us kids weren't told that he was sick. I just always wondered how come he was so lazy all the time, and never helped with the groceries or stuff? Soon he was dead. Then we had to wonder & worry if his wife & daughter (my auntie & cousin) had it. They don't, but shit is scary, yo!

I guess the rumour is that an HIV-positive man mighta been cured of his infection, recently. But that don't mean you wanna get it. He had to get purty sick to even qualify for treatment, and as much as it's made him a star, it's never as glamourous as it sounds. Sure he'll get his face on the tabloids & maybe a book deal or reality show. But I doubt he'd trade his health for fame & fortune, if given the choice again. I just hope he's cute, likes chubby queens, and is very generous.

I took the Ora-Quick 20 minute HIV test on Shaka Talk #6, with Jaimie from the Life Foundation. She had just returned to work from her honeymoon, and had barely met Edna & I just a few minutes before the show. So we forgot to swab my mouth in time to get the results before the episode was over. From the discussion we had, I'm sure a lotta viewers assumed I had it.

That's all the test is: You swab between your cheek & gums, stick it in this solution, and 20 minutes later, there will be a pattern on the handle, to show whether you've been exposed to HIV or not. No needles, no waiting, no shit. And if you do need help after that, the counselors are ready & willing to refer you to it. Boom! So easy! But still shmall kine scary.

When my mom seen the show, and heard me answer all the sex questions, she kinda freaked out when it pau'd and my results weren't revealed. She called me right away. At first I assumed it was one of the tranny-chasers trying to get my co-hostess Edna's phone number. But hanging onto hope that it might be someone wanting to do unspeakable things to me, I licked my lips and answered in my sexiest phone bone tones....with a semi-...just in case.

"Is there anything you need to tell me?" she begged. My dick shrank as if I'd jumped into an Arctic fishing hole. "No mom" I assured her. "I'm OK" I tested negative when I got my results at the end of the show FYI. But that was over a year ago the last time I got tested, and I been gettin' down with some hot hooker action since then, so I guess I need to stop preachin' & start practicin'. I been safe, but living with the fear of death & disease is part of what makes me proud to be gay, and I'm not gonna deny my true identity.

In fact I seen my friend Mono who works at Life Foundation the other day, and he reminded me, they will come to you if you like. They'll bring all the test stuff, aks you all the questions, then take off when it's done. No need leave your house. Or just bust one out during your lunch brake. ...while cruising the park...working the streets....beating your kids. Call 'em. It's totally anonymous: (808) 521-2437. You could even lie when they ask you the questions.

Just don't lie to yourself.

some people will do anything to get into Shaka Zine

2010-11-26T09:30:00.001-08:00

I think this is Mrs. Palin's 3rd appearance in Shaka Zine. We deserve to get teabagged for that.

terrrible horrrible

cum back kid

2010-11-26T08:15:00.000-08:00

This poor guy was in Brad Posey's Screen Test #?? (maybe it's less humiliating for him if I don't tell you, so you can't see what happens, and just have to take my word for it. He could deny it if you confront him. Maybe not. I've never met him. Have you?). I think he said something about being punk rock?

Screen Test is one of my favourite series, because you can tell that the photographer has done these interviews (literally "casting couches") a million times. He asks each model the same questions, in the same order, and at the same moments. He has it down to a science, and often times guys give the same answers (16 is the average age most of his models lost their virginity at).

My favourite is when he asks "When was the last time you cummed?". I usually mute it when I can tell he's gonna ask if they're gay or straight. I'd rather not know. If they're cute, to me they're straight. And they're only doing it for the money. And they're not gonna call me, or give me drama, or snap their fingers, or flip their hair, or talk about divas.

They're already naked before he's done with the questions, then he gives the guys the option of where they wanna jerkoff, and what kinda porn they wanna watch. It's typical solo stuff, except Posey is very inspired by Bruce Weber, so he gives us some cool angles. As cool as you could show in a middle-aged Cali-homo's living room. Often he'll offer the guys a hand, or mouth, to finish the scene, but quickfire editing saves us the visual, so we can tell that it's gonna happen, but don't have to see as he defiles these yummy dummies.

This guys is unique for a few reasons. Not just because he shakes a double-shaka twice in his scenes, but he actually comes twice for the camera. In fact he has to come to the studio twice, because in his first scene, he orgasms but it's not obvious. The camera wasn't ready, and the dude's load was kinda small. In fact Posey calls it a "non-cumshot". How shame. So hot.

So the second picture above is from his second session, when he comes back to give us what we paid for. The "money shot" if you will.

[Scroll down this page if you wanna see where Sebastian, aka Simon Rex, aka "Dirt Nasty" got his start getting himself off. I love the way his balls disappear when he lays flat on his back.]

Grudge Report (she's still nails)

2010-11-26T06:55:00.000-08:00

Bag of wind, you're dreadful!

Bes' Kine

2010-11-04T07:40:00.000-07:00

I took a week off of work, thinking I'd volunteer the whole time at the Hawaii International Film Festival. I got a lotta reasons/excuses, but whatever. I wound upp only working one day, so I only earned one free ticket. Which means I spent too much money during my vacation, but it was way worth it.

While I was in line for the premiere of Ecila, my friend Jeannie was flyering for a movie her (I think) huzz had helped produce. I'd heard of it before, somehow, but there was little bombast or hoopla. I'm a sucker for anything about dark-haired boys on skateboards. If they're gonna be speaking a little pidgin, I'm already obsessed. Boom, it was the first movie I bought tickets to, and a couple days later when Jeannie texted she had comp tickets for the second showing, I dragged my roommate to the theatre.
One Kine Day is the film directing debut of 808 Skate Shop owner Chuck Mitsui. Forgive me for comparing it to another movie (and I mean it in a good way): I was reminded of Larry Clark's first film KIDS. (and apparently so do the guys at Contrast Magazine). But this wasn't a mainlander's view of local life; nor is Mitsui trying to be mimic any other films or filmmakers. What he achieves perfectly is the pulse and pace of life on the Windward Side, during a very tumultous 24 Hours for it's main characters. Clark's dim, grim urban streets provoke you with gratuitous & sensational scenes; Mitsui's vibrant island paradise seduces you over to it's dark side with finesse & aplomb.

Both films are about the relationship between a young couple facing hardship. However,Telly, the guy in KIDS is promiscuous, and Jennie just lost her virginity to him. In One Kine Day, Ralsto promises to stay with his girlfriend Alea although she's pregnant, and has been before. While Jennie spends the whole movie trying to tell Telly she's HIV positive, Alea tells Ralsto their predicament while they're lying in bed at the start of the movie. There are more contrasting parallels, but I don't wanna give away too much.

I was so into this movie, I don't know where to start, because I'll never stop.
So many things drew me into the story, about a high school girl considering going through with her second pregnancy; while her boyfriend spends a whole day trying to raise enough money for "da kine". Who the fuck writes a teenage abortion story set in Hawaii? And to present it so candidly, without moralizing the situation, or the characters' motives? I think that's really brave, and shows a lot of respect for the characters, as well as the audience, each of us given permission to make our own judgments and conclusions about the situation.

There's even a scene where Ralsto bets all the money he has on his hottie, bad boy friend Nalu's, brother's chicken in a cock-fight. The camera doesn't survey the crowd, or linger too long on anyone at the cock-fight, because you wouldn't do that if you were there in real life. In fact the camera just follows the boys thru the event, as if they're walking through the park. Nothing to notice or ponder on. I've only heard crazy stories about cock-fights, but never been to one. I would totally sneak glances and even gawk if I was there. But these guys aren't tourists, so nothing is surprising to them, and now nor to us, the viewers, who feel like we belong there too. The battle between the birds isn't directly depicted, but cleverly shot, and convincing. No one stops to consider the legality or cruelty of the sport. It's just part of life.

I was also very impressed with how much you learn about each person driving the story. Local life centers heavily around family, and we look into each of these kids' homes, even learning a little about each parent, and what kind of life everyone lives. And even then, we become empathetic to whomever might otherwise be vilified by a sanctimonious lens. Nalu's brother who raises roosters to fight, is very loving toward them, and treats them like pets. Alea's party-hard mom CC, is trying to win her daughter back, but CC obviously looks like she was a young mother herself.

Of course I've heard the usual critiques about local productions. I get real defensive about this, because there's an endless array of crap from outside of Hawaii, but people who live here are automatically skeptical about independent films, moreso than they are toward Hollywood productions, set in the islands. I can understand any critique, and accept it on individual terms. Still I've heard a lot of reasons people give for not supporting local projects, without knowing anything about them.
I'll agree that some of the pidgin was a little too much. However, dialogue is one of the hardest things to write, and reading it naturally ain't easy either. Plus, this cast is pretty young, and mostly non-experiencedl actors who were friends with director Chuck Mitsui. Another complaint came from a friend, after the Q&A of the second screening. Mitsui was describing how the music people listen to, deeply affects and reflects their culture. My friend was bothered that the film implies that everyone listens to Hawaiian music. I argued that, if anyone was going to portray a place heavily influenced by Hawaiian music, perhaps Hawaii would be the first and only choice. The songs complement their scenes, and fit that side of the island. Furthermore, our punk rock friend Josh86 & his band Black Square are mentioned several times in the script, and are the featured band at the evening's house party.

Guess what? You don't gotta take my word for it: One Kine Day won the HIFF Audience Award for a narrative feature. It's already scheduled to play at the 2011 San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival, and I'm sure more to come. (put Asians - or Christians - as a focal point, and garanz ballbaranz you got a audience . Do something as good as this, you got a broader following.)

I been trying to look upp the director, Chuck Mitsui's email address or contact info. Found an old one, I hope he checks, but he don't post much on his twitter or facebook pages. The movie needs more exposure and promotion, because I think it's an important story, with a unique point of view. I hope he finds some way of reaching out to younger people who would be entertained & even educated by it. Just like KIDS, I believe One Kine Day should be played to adolescent audiences, who will undoubtedly be able to relate to the people portrayed in this movie & their issues. It would definitely spark discussion, and even touch a nerve. I need to shut upp now.

I got some of the photos from missdominy.blogspot.com and more info from FITTED. Chuck Mitsui also started the ASH, the Association of Skateboarders of Hawaii (that's the email I hope to reach him at). He's not my T, so I ain't stalking him, but I just wanna wish him well, and learn more about the film & it's future.

(most of this movie's audience ain't gonna be queer, so they probbly never heard of the indy flick Ethan Mao, which is about an Asian family taken hostage on Thanksgiving, by the middle child & his boyfriend. The older son is pretty/vacant like I like 'em, but the younger one seems kinda wimpy or gay too. The wicked stepmother - played by the same actress as Ralsto's mom - gets all wet when Ethan & his huzzbin tie upp the whole family around the dinner table. It's so sadistically subversive, that it kinda turned me on....maybe because I wish I was her, tied upp with all them chinky twinks.)

u downe?

2010-10-27T05:39:00.000-07:00

I'm super nervous about November 6, when I have to emcee the next downetowne party "Miss Medic", at Bar 35. I'm kinda into the "Medical Fetish Theme", but not sure how their mostly-lesbian following will take to my style (whatever that may be). I'm not even sure what to expect that night, but luckily, Cocoa Chandelier will be performing that evening as well! So even if I suck, Cocoa's gonna uppstage me anyway. She and I will be sharing the stage for one musical number (not sure if we'll have an extra player), as well as a solo performance each. I haven't told my friend Mish yet, that I'm stealing a skit which she conceived a few years ago. But I'm bigger than her, and a guy. So, me worry? Please.

Cocoa Chandelier was crowned Universal Showqueen in 2008, the most prestigious title within the Transgender community in Hawaii. She is also the Artist-in-Residence at Leeward Community College, after contributing her talents as choreographer, costume design and artistic direction, after years of participation in Drama and Dance. Cocoa was assistant director and dancer for Iona Contemporary Dance Theatre for over 13 years, founded the House of Chandelier, and Giinko Marischino performance groups, seen frequently around Hawaii. She is and advocate for HIV/AIDS within the Pacific Island and Polynesian communities.

It is a daunting gig, though. My girl Ruby Hong & her associates have been creating quite a scene for years now. With Ruby's tomboy tastes, and the legion of lipstick lezzies I've heard fly in from outer islands, you could expect to encounter more than your zen garden variety of granola-grazing birkenstock-rocking butchies. In fact, locals from all walks of life, flock to this once-a-month theme party. So I hope it's okay if I just be myself, and remember that you can't please everybody.
It was kinda awkward when I had to write a bio. I don't like to hype myself too much, because if my audience has high expectations, it's easier to let them down. I hope I didn't set myself upp with the following synopsis of my "career" (The word Bio wasn't supposed to be there at the beginning, but it kinda sounded like I was the product of some eugenics experiment gone wrong, so I didn't correct it):

Bio-Cult figurine Diar "D.R" Rhea has been an ensemble playa on the scene for years. On stage with the House of Chandelier, or in one of her earpiercing bands like Imminent Riot, she's fed Honolulu a different diet of draggery, full of femmeboyant faggotry infused with politipunk hackery. This multi-media darling would also have to be an acclaimed (self-proclaimed) "zine geek". Her Shaka Zine has mocked tv screens once a week for 2 seasons, with their monthly chat show, Shaka Talk on Olelo. Mellow but manic, she hopes not to panic, streetwalking in traffic downetowne!

We'll see how everything goes. I already got a couple costumes in mind, although no one's answered my craigslist ad seeking a "reliable actor" to be part of my solo number, things usually fall into place. Ruby's always been a friend, and I'm anxious to see what everyone else is wearing. Plus got go-go dancers, and DJ KSM, so I'll have fun even if I flop. And nowadays, all the hottest guys wind upp having vaginas, so hopefully I meet some sapphic pseudo-star fucker.

Each a monkey

2010-10-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

Our friend Eric, from self-described 90's band i tramonti made a video for his HPU class. He was nice enough to not only invite us to be in it, but to let us molest the pretty ones! You know what a yellowphile I can be. But actually Korean's not my favourite colour anymore. I'm totally into Brazilian now. It's the new blast.

My favourite part, is after knowing Eric probbly over 10 years, I got to watch him direct us. He had a basic concept in mind, but listened to everyone & let things evolve. How you say..."making it upp as he went along".

After everything we shot, it's cool to see how he tailored & trimmed & timed it all to go not only with the music, but the lyrics. There's some discarded footage that won't be missed; as well as some other shit that woulda got the video flagged.

Eric knows how to tell a story, while splicing in them performance shots, with random teases of hot chicks dancing thrown into to reach a wider audience. Can't blame him. Sex sells.

Check out "i tramonti" on Shaka Talk in November 2010, Thursday nights at 11:59pm HT on channel 52.

Incidentally, we shot our episode before Eric made this video. OOPS! The band footage we used in the show was all kinda ghetto. One's barely a practice before they even finished a song. No more even lyrics. Small kine shame, but it's cute. Alex loves it, and he's my favourite local rock star, so nothing else matters.

How you like them: APLE

2010-10-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

To watch the show without having to read my ramblings, click & watch Shaka Talk #14, with our guest Tracy Ryan from APLE Hawaii, which stands for "Arresting Prostitutes is Legal Exploitation". If you do read on, please remember that much of this blog is mostly my own personal feelings. Tracy's words, and those of the other advocates of sex-workers' rights, are in "quotation marks", so if you read something uppsetting, don't punish them for something I wrote.

Regrettably, I think I've uppset Tracy myself. I'd already flaked on her a few months prior, which made me scared to even invite her back to the show. But she was so gracious when I apologized, and even kinder when I asked if she'd like to try once more. I hope she subscribes to the notion that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Behind the scenes, as Edna & I tried to work with internet videos of Tracy and other sex-workers' rights advocates, we couldn't seem to format them right. I was bummed out. I wanted to include these women in our show because they had some important things to say. Plus, I so admire them for their bravery and the hard work they've taken on: speaking on behalf of sex-workers, a segment of our population whose rights and basic humanity are quite forsaken.

So as the day of our interview rolled around, I decided to just transcribe & read some quotes from these activists. Then after reviewing the episode with some friends, we agreed that my live readings just seemed to fall flat. Plus the lack of b-roll images or video to add to the conversation, made the show just a lot of talk. I know the subject we're covering is sort of controversial, but the depiction of it was pretty dry. I felt it needed another dimension, to make my contribution a little more interesting.

Edna & I decided to shoot me in my room, impersonating the women from the videos, and cut them into the show, post-production. The sound & picture quality leave much to be desired (as does my actressing), but I like the way our cut-aways break upp the visuals and pacing of the show. My apologies to the women if they were less than flattered with my re-enactments. I meant it as a grateful tribute for all they're doing, but I'll admit my performances weren't award-worthy. Still, I meant no disrespect nor offense.

The episode opens with my quote of Tracy Ryan, from a talk she gave in someone's backyard (in Kunia, I think it was). It's from thefoolishthings.net, an Idea Exchange where guest speakers give a speech on various topics, with differing social/political points of view. Afterwards, the group assembled discusses the topic over pupus & such.

thefoolishthings on livestream.com. Broadcast Live Free

This night Tracy was invited to discuss two sides of the prostitution issue: Sex workers who want to unionize & work for better labour practices, and "Radical Feminists" who've based their mission to abolish prostitution on horror stories, that they've generalized to be the universal experience for everyone in the sex trade. Tracy mentions current rabble rousers, PASS (the Pacific Alliance to Stop Slavery), whose intentions sound deceptively noble. However, PASS as a hole fails to consider the possibility that not every sex worker (whether male, female, or transgender) is a victim, nor is every customer or agent of a prostitute abusive. They cannot acknowledge such, because it could cost them their funding. Meanwhile, their antics just further marginalize people who are just doing what they can to get by.

I doubt this well-meaning collective had made a Pact Agreement to Stay Stupid, but I was reminded of the legendary Fuckin' Angry Ignorant Lesbians, and how they aggressively try to silence voices that don't regurgitate their own skewed findings. Such missbehaviour totally discredits PASS, IMHO.

Still PASS has taken an aggressive stance against prostitution, misterogynistically focusing their fury mostly on the johns & pimps. I agree that if someone is abusive towards anyone, punishment is in order. But severe penalties upon men, just because they're willing to pay for sex with no strings attached, is not the best way to end the suffering of anyone, even if it makes an organization a lot of money. Instead of ending sexism, they're just reversing it and cashing in.

Now back to our show...

Shaka Talk - Tracy Ryan part 1 of 3

"There are women who are coming from within the ranks of working prostitutes who want to have prostitution decriminalized and want to be able to form associations. Maybe not labour unions per se, but various types of associations for their own protection, for public health, and things of that nature.

The existence of these groups is not welcomed by the Radical Feminists because if such a group exists, of women who are prostitutes who wanna have labour rights, that's sort of evidence that they can't be slaves. I don't know of any time when we had slavery in this country, when slaves went out picketing. Slaves don't go on strike, they don't organize unions, that's not how it works.

The fact is that, again: There's no generalization. There's no typical prostitute, There's no such thing. Anymore than there's a typical man, or a typical woman, or a typical john, or a typical black person, or a typical republican... Nobody deserves to be put into a class that somebody else decides they can define, and go forward with a prejudice in terms of everyone in that class. Everyone deserves to be treated as an individual and own their own truth about their life, and the problems and joys that they encounter."

APLE and other sex worker rights activists, operate under a non-judgmental premise of self-empowerment, working to reduce the harm sex workers face, due to how they make their living. Such harms include being harassed, getting arrested, going to prison & having a record, plus as Tracy puts it: "the difficulty in seeking redress for any type of abuse that may have been perpetrated upon you, when you're illegal yourself." This I interpret as alluding to the fact that an abused prostitute is basically one screwed bitch, because people who sell sex are dehumanized by society & it's laws. The court system is a theatre where these attitudes are acted out. There's rarely a happy ending.

Harm Reduction believes:

Tracy believes that the best way to insure justice for everyone is to "decriminalize prostitution for the sex worker and for her customers." And I agree. Public disdain toward people in a compromised position, only further worsens their troubles. Punishing someone for making a living, not only doesn't solve their issues, but stigmatizes them with an arrest record. And when a prostitute's customers are threatened with arrest, how is she thus being helped? Does attacking the male libido, prevent a girl from going hungry or help her pay her rent? Furthermore, the less chances someone who is being pimped has of bringing their abuser money, the more chances there will be harsher abuse.

Giving women, and other sex workers the credit & respect to be able to make their own decisions, would be very helpful in protecting the rights of everyone. Tracy points out that a Muslim nation like Bangladesh has an organization with thousands of sex workers as part of its membership. Who better to empathize and understand these people's needs, but their peers? Yet such organizations in the United States face opposition, because of their members' illegal occupation. As if their basic needs of food, clothing & shelter don't matter, unless they stop doing whatever they have made the choice to do to fulfill those needs - or have no better choice to do - or have no choice in the matter at all.

What I never fully knew, until Tracy told me, is that prostitution was "de facto legal in Hawaii during the1930's and upp to September of 1944", meaning "there's a law on the books, but even the police and government ignore that law." Before that time, brothels (aka whorehouses) had been tolerated, but when attitudes changed in the 1910's & 1920's, the brothels were closed, and prostitutes had nowhere to turn to but the streets, to encounter their customers. Citizens realized they preferred such business be relegated to a zone, so the brothel owners were invited back to the River Street area in downtown Honolulu.

From 1930 to 1944, the Honolulu Police Department relegated & operated around 10 brothels. To separate the social classes, the women couldn't own a car, go to Waikiki, or even have a boyfriend! A blatant sign of the times was that local and/or Black guys couldn't patronize many of the brothels, for they catered mostly to White military guys. (eww). The girls put upp with such corruption & abuse, because they had the chance to make a lot of money, then could just leave town.
But during World War II, the women were stuck on the island, with no chance of escaping such restrictions on their freedom. So in 1942, they decided to unite in protest, and went out picketing the H.P.D. headquarters with signs, striking to demand better conditions for themselves. The U.S. military became very uppset, for the strike affected the morale of the troops. Since Hawaii was under US Martial Law at the time, the police department gave in to military pressure, and granted some of the prostitutes' demands for more freedoms & fairness. Unity & sisterhood got the Man to give these women more rights.

Shaka Talk - Tracy Ryan part 2 of 3

Tracy continues that after the war, the local community closed the brothels in 1944, with hopes of cleaning upp their image, and inviting tourists back. But they didn't close down "the vice district". Upp until the 1970's, sexual entertainment, gambling & drugs were basically tolerated in Chinatown Honolulu, until landowners realized they could make more money if they re-developed the area. But now that the yuppies & hipsters have all but gentrified downtown, the situation has become one of conflict between those seeking "vice", and those who wish to get rid of it.

We don't go too far into solutions for this situation, but as I write this, I get a little nostalgic for the first time I smoked crack. It was in a porn shoppe uppstairs on Hotel St, with some guy who let himself into my peep booth, just because I didn't lock it. Since I already had my pants down, he offered to give me a hand to make upp for the intrusion. I said ok, but first he pulled out a sooty glass tube, with some kinda steel wool at the end he was lighting, while he puffed on the other open end. He then passed it to me. I grabbed the utensil and sucked it, as he grabbed my unit and sucked it. I'm probbly embellishing, but why not: I timed my money shot to the last few seconds of the timer on the video screen. We were both impressed with each other's performance. He told me he drove a tour bus, which I believed, 'cause he had on the shirt & nametag. I probbly lied about everything from my name (usually I say Erik), to my sexperience level ('Ok, I guess I'll try it').

I go back to that place sometimes to dance. The only booth there now is the deejay booth. There's no porn, but now it's got some cool art on the walls. All kine people go there now too, 'cause it doesn't smell, and you ain't gotta be shame as you exit onto the main strip. Next time you're at 39 Hotel, reminisce about my cracked out BJ. (sigh)... or is it (swoon)...? or maybe [(swallow) he not I! (I'll never forget: he told me "you came for a month")]? But I digest...

We return to Bangladesh, and Tracy cites statistics that the Durbar group employs 65,000 sex workers as part of their outreach program. Through their efforts, they report they've been successful in fighting AIDS, bringing down the number of underage sexworkers "from about 25% in the 1990's, to about 3% percent today."

Unfortunately, while Tracy acknowledges that the US is a very wealthy & generous country, to receive USAID funding, outreach and public assistance programs must take an "anti-prostitution pledge." Money is only given to groups who promise not to provide services to anyone involved in prostitution. Therefore, the people who were receiving help before this rule, were no longer cared for, nor given access to resources. How does shutting out someone who needs help, show them that you care? Tracy describes the situation:

"The US is on a moral crusade to abolish prostitution. And as a result, a lot of the best organizations in the world which are dealing with the very issues, are being de-funded by US sources.... at the same time the US, since the Bush Administration, has been looking for anyone who has kind of a moral crusade, and funded them, these faith-based, people. I have no problem with faith-based issues. I believe in faith myself. However my problem is that, a lot of times groups and organizations that are out there, may have a nice moral, faith-based attitude, but they have no real understanding of prostitution, the sex industry, they're not street-wise, they have no...background in social work. And these groups are the ones now, that are lining upp to get money, where professional groups, that have all of these qualities, are fighting for every last dime. This is very bad for the people who are being serviced."

After her statement, I referred to the group Durjoy Nari Shangho, in Bangladesh, and how their programs to make life easier on poorer residents were punished by the USAID's Anti-Prostitution Pledge. Closed are the places their clients would come to learn about HIV prevention & receive health care, among other things. It is one of their members, Hazera Begum, whom I quote in the video snippet that appears in the show. She gives an emotional testimony in the "Taking the Pledge" video above, about how denying sex workers help, has damaged their community:

"The monthly condom distribution rate used to be very high, but since the closings there is less access, so sex workers are not using as many condoms. They distribute fewer each month. After the USAID funding stopped coming, when all of our centers closed in December of 2005, some girls came in just to utilize our child care center. When they would come in, they would say, we need to talk to someone. We need condoms. We need many things- like education, so we can practice safer sex.

We are really in trouble. Since we have been forced to close our centers, we have lost our community, we are nowhere now. If feels as if our family has been broken, because our sex workers are street-based. They are just floating now. The only homes they had sometimes was when they would go with a client for a few hours while working. The rest of the time, the only home that they had was the drop in center. Closing the centers is like losing their homes, their meeting places, losing their health clinic, school, losing everything.

They are forced to run from person to person, from organization to organization, trying to communicate these problems: 'What do I do? Where can I go? Where can I eat, sleep, take a bath, use the toilet?' This is the painful situation we are in now that all of the centers have been closed. I believe this is what a broken heart feels like."

Shaka Talk - Tracy Ryan part 3 of 3

I did have this graphic ready the day we interviewed Tracy. It's the logos of some organizations I've blogged about before which serve to protect, defend, inform, and/or entertain those involved in the sex industry. Some, like $PREAD magazine, are no longer around, but even the sites that haven't been uppdated recently, contain some helpful articles and links. Tracy explains that these groups work based on the fact that you can't generalize every prostitute's situation. They provide services to help sex-workers become better-informed (whether it be about their rights, abusive situations, or disease prevention), and thus safer.

I try to make the comparison to M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). Just because some people wind upp the victims of drunk drivers, M.A.D.D. isn't out there trying to make alcohol illegal. Nor is there a campaign just to punish people who want to drink.
What about the trafficked people who wind upp in garment factory sweatshops? Should we outlaw clothes? designers? or just the people who want to wear them?

There's been talk lately that pimps have turned to the internet to find customers for their girls. As a result, Craigslist was pressured to shut down its Adult Services forum on their homepage. While the company hasn't officially reported the reasoning behind the censorship of their site, the debate has been wide-ranging: from law enforcement losing an avenue to hunt down abusers; to making the problem invisible, and therefore, foolishly feeling that it's disappeared. Outta sight, outta mind.

But Stacey Swimme, of SWOP Sex Workers' Outreach Project, is concerned about the people who were using the site as a way to make a living. She worries that since they've lost a major means of meeting customers, how are they getting by now?

"Regardless of how many free speech sites we're going to try to shut down to stop prostitution, you're not doing anything to solve the real problems and issues facing people who are working in the sex industry, separately from people who are forced into sexual situations that they don't want. You're not serving either of these two groups of people. And actually hearing them, and acknowledging that they both exist, and have different issues, will produce more results than just this campaign so people can get their names in the paper."

I accidentally say 'faces in the paper' in my imitation of Ms. Swimme, and even get her name wrong during the show. I apologize. But she points out the false heroism behind this stunt, because the people who would need help, have now been displaced, and their lives disrupted. Someone who reluctantly sells sex - either by force or as a last resort - is now in the same predicament as someone who has willfully chosen to be a sex worker: customers will be harder to reach, and therefore, so will income.

Tracy doubts the credibility of these Craigslist haters, because of their mistreatment of evidence, and the suspect research techniques they employ, including quoting statistics or findings out of context, as well as their avoidance of evidence. They've also used their wily ways to word a purported 'anti-trafficking' bill, to create a very broad definition of the term trafficking, as well to implicate almost everyone in the sexual entertainment industry, as traffickers.

According to Tracy, Senate Bill 2045 includes language accusing strip bar operators of acting as traffickers. The intention of this bill is not to go after prostitutes, but seeks to arrest anyone acting in a managerial capacity with sex-workers (pimps, brothel madams, escort agency), while uninterested in the burden of having to prove there was any abuse. Tracy mentions the terms "force, fraud, and...enticement", being used as charges against alleged offenders, but questions how enticement could be equated with force? Although the misguided bill was passed by our legislature, it was heavily opposed by law enforcement, and the professional outreach community, and eventually vetoed by our Governor.

As with most passionate people, Tracy could talk for days about any facet of this issue. With just a few minutes left of our show, we finally get around to what can be done to help prostitutes who either want to get out of the business, or who would like to stop being harassed by the public & police:

"The things that need to be done for women who are victimized:
You need to have protection when they testify against the people who are abusing them.
And you need to be careful about doing other things which make things more dangerous. Like going after their johns.
If you go after the johns, what you're doing is you make it more difficult for them to meet their quota with their pimp. If they have a drug habit, they turn to stealing. It's a bad idea."

With that, we ran out of time. But enough said.

What I take away from this conversation is:
If you want to help people who are in a bad situation, include them in the solution.
Consider the agenda (money? attention?) of people who claim to want to help, but refuse to listen to the alleged victims.
Instead of attacking the behaviour, seek to root out the cause which leads people to bad decisions or predicatments.
Don't generalize that everyone fits a generalization you've created, and then treat them as if you know what's best for them.
Protect abused persons when they are acting to punish their abusers.

Should poor people quit making money, because some members of society don't approve? Should a wealthy, worldly woman stop making money, because some people in the same line of work are being exploited? Should anyone be forced out of a job because of the possible risks involved, or third party attitudes, that do not concern the worker?

As with any occupation not everyone thoroughly enjoys sex-work; however, as with other jobs, occasionally the benefits make the sacrifices worthwhile. For some, one misfortune may outweigh another. Either way, it's work. A means of making a living. Sometimes, it's the better option for someone who has few to choose from. Maybe it's the best option at a given time. Whatever the individual's reasons, respecting their decision or living condition, and working with them to keep improving their life, instead of judging them for living it, is the best way to approach the task of helping someone.

Thanks to Tracy, and everyone who sticks their neck out to speak upp for sex-workers. For further information, please check out the following links:

www.aplehawaii.org stands for Arresting Prostiutes is Legal Exploitation.

www.harmreductionhawaii.org teaches ways of encountering less harm in a given situation. Like using a condom to avoid sexually transmitted diseases. Kinda like wearing a seat belt to avoid further injury in a car accident. Or like using sunscreen to avoid skin damage. My favourite Harm Reduction suggestion to people who can't leave an abusive mate: if you know you're going to be abused when they come home, meet them in the bedroom or someplace with softer surfaces, instead of the kitchen with hard counters, and possible weapons available.

Sex Work & Human Rights Media Toolkit by the Urban Justice Center is full of comprehensive information concerning sex work, and the false arguments intended to help people trafficked into prostitution. I hope to see it printed in pamphlet form soon.

Their sex workers' outreach is now represented by www.sexworkersproject.org where through the use of "human rights and harm reduction approaches, the Sex Workers Project (SWP) protects and promotes the rights of individuals who engage in sex work, regardless of whether they do so by choice, circumstance, or coercion." They've published a report about the use of raids to fight trafficking in persons", wherein at about page 25, women involved in such raids recall them being harmful to them psychologically and physically.

How Censoring Craigslist Helps Pimps, Child Traffickers and Other Abusive Scumbags by Danah Boyd, via Huffington Post

The Prostitutes' Union by Madhusree Mukerjee via Scientific American explains how sex-workers united can help themselves

Prostitutes on Strike: The Women of Hotel Street During World War II by Beth Bailey & David Farber, a 4.19MB pdf, via Radical History Review 1992 is a cool uppload from a old book, outlining the successful protest organized by Honolulu brothel workers, to attain more freedoms for themselves, under class & race separatism during WWII.

Senate Bill 2045 and APLE Hawaii's comments on PASS's proposals in the bill. The bill was re-written after it was first read by legislators, who unknowingly passed it without learning of the changes. Law enforcement, and social workers working in outreach to those the bill pretends to help, spoke out against the bill, and Linda Lingle vetoed it.

surf's upp!

2010-09-05T07:44:00.001-07:00

The following DVD reviews are from Shaka Zine #5. They were mostly shot in Hawaii, but I don't think I ever posted them.

Surfer Girls : The girls of Shane's World come to Oahu to surf, and these lucky ladies ride some major swells! Straight off the streets, they pick upp surfer dudes to have sex with them on camera. One of the only major straight porn movies to feature an actual local, possibly Hawaiian guy. Incredible!

Surfer Girls 2 : Although it depicts more outdoor action: like sex sessions, surf lessons, nude skydiving, and shark cage madness....- this movie pissed me off! Not only is the scene with Oahu native Nautica Thorn obviously not shot in Hawaii, but she is used & abused, because she's Hawaiian. Tacky low blow, even by porn standards.

Music Mama

2010-09-05T01:54:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to my longtime ladyfriend, Malia Slusarenko & her huzzbin Isaac, on the birth of their new baby Emil Urban!

Shaka Talk - Malia Martini part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk - Malia Martini part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk - Malia Martini part 3 of 3

Bonnie Fucker

2010-08-18T01:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry Ronnie. I just got a shitty job that consumes me. I never got around to posting the latest Shaka Talk. What's new? Check him out:

Shaka Talk - Ronnie Rucker part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk - Ronnie Rucker part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk - Ronnie Rucker part 3 of 3

Follow Upp

2010-07-20T07:36:00.000-07:00

NO, I'm not stalking him! We're emailing. It's different. But Mauro Loriato, whom I just previously interviewed has been cool enough to answer a further line of questioning, since I thought the ones I asked before weren't too smart. Not that these are genius, but I think they say a bit more:
What has been the scariest thing to happen to you in Hawaii?

When I hurt my head.

Is the fact that the Amazon Jungle is being destroyed a big concern for Brazilians, or do they think about it much at all?

Many people is concern, but "the guys of power" dont show any concern (has too much money involved) .

There are many Transsexuals in Brazil, and a lot of porn comes from there. Do you know many transsexuals? Do you know any porn stars? (female?/male?/trans?)

I dont know...
Do you know any words in pidgin? (local Hawaii slanguage)

Punani, pakalolo (old brazilian brand for kids hahaha)

What are some good Brazilian slang words we should know of?

"xoxota" came for many words for say pussy.

"e nois" is like "is we" you can use for any situation ( but never use in a formal situtation)

"bora" like you guys say 'lets go"

"sang" came from "sangue bom" "good blood" normally use for who a good person or who you like. "What's up sangue? hahah"

Where are your favourite skate spots in Hawaii?

One Hill close to Pali hwy, banzai skatepark and Hawaii kai...( I wish to skate in some of the Hawaiian Ditches)

Obrigado Sangue.
-----------------------------------------------------------

I find it humourous in the video above, that Mauro skates ramps when he's lazy. Compare that to how he bangs (below) when he's crazy, and you may see what makes me all woozy 'bout this brilliant Brazilian who's become my new huzzy.

To learn even more about Mauro, check his press page, or just send him a yoohoo via mauroloriato@yahoo.com

Last Night a Zine Geek Saved My Life

2010-07-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

It sucks living with my boss/bf. I can't vent at home about my day, 'cause it's probbly his fault. So I ran away for a minute ,when he woke upp at 2am. During my trip, I stopped into Kinko's on University or whatever it's called now, to ask about printing costs. The guy working was busy,
but on my way out, I glanced at a stack of photocopied photographs with handwritten scrawling around them in collage...WTF? A zine publisher caught in the act? I got harder than a cop nabbing a graf artist.

If I wasn't stoned I wouldn't have had the balls to yell across the store: "Are you making a magazine?"

His name is Mauro Loriato and I was able to score the following interview (I emailed some "deeper" questions I hope he answers, 'cause I was so stoked to meet another zine geek, I couldn't think of nothing clever). Here goes:
What's your name?

Mauro.

What's the name of your magazine?

It's Crazy Beer BBQ

Cool. You're from Brazil and you've been in Hawaii one year?

Ya almost one year. I spend my time between Hawaii and Brazil.

And skating everywhere?

Ya, I try.
Are you sponsored?

Ya, by Weird Clothing, and Aerial 7 Headphones, Junkie Riders that's mine, and Lo Fi Punk Rock.

I don't understand half that. [he spells everything out for me]. Junkie, like heroin junkie?

Ya, but we don't...

Are you drug free? It's 2010

It doesn't matter, I don't care.
When did you start making this issue?

Oh...

Long time?

2008? [laugh]

That's a zine. How long have you been making Crazy Beer BBQ?

Two years and a half. Almost 3 years.

Where else have you skated around the world?

Brazil, Argentina, Buenos Aires, California, and Hawaii.

Right on. Where's your favourite place to be in the world?

For skate or to live?

Both.

I don't know. I think for live is Hawaii for sure. Good life. But for skate? I don't have too many experience in the world, but California for sure.

So is Brazil a dangerous place like we kinda see on TV?

Ya. Depends the place, the time, the situation. You need to be smart. Know the scene. Otherwise, pfff
So what's the scariest thing that's happened to you while skating around Brazil.

When I skate?

Or doing anything in Brazil. What was the scariest moment?

I don't know because I live there. Many things are scary, but I don't think it's a big deal. Many things you think don't gonna be bad, can be the worst. You can go to grocery shop, just go to grocery shop can be pffff. And you go walk late time drunk, don't have anything. You know?

What's your favourite thing about Hawaii?

I like the climate. Good at-mo-sphere. Everything's easy. I like it.
Do you have any shout-outs to anybody?

What is it?

Just saying your friends' names? You already said your sponsors. Or do you have any advice for the world?

Keep it true. Be real.

Right on! Thanks Mauro.

You're welcome...For what? [we both laugh]
----------
Nice guy. Mellow. Friendly. We hung out for a bit more, as he told me about his spot on Hawaii Extreme Sports TV. He also explained his decision to let Crazy Beer BBQ stay a zine, as opposed to a brand that he would have to keep upp. "This is just one part of your life," he said, and I knew what he meant. But I'm not too shame to admit, zines are a big part of my life. I hope he tells me where to pick upp a copy when he finishes. I'll let y'all know...after I secure mines.

Girl Feist 2010

2010-07-11T09:04:00.001-07:00

Some people are so mad at men, they don't even know how to "boy"cott something. In fact, what they did was more like a protest, but these amateur activists apparently can't come correct. I think they believe they're doing the right thing, but unfortunately burning bridges instead of building them. I don't find them to be a very welcoming group, so I couldn't say for sure: but it feels like their attitudes and actions are motivated by money & misterogyny (that's boy for 'misogyny').

They're an offshoot of Girlfest, which in a few months will be the subject of a plethora of puff pieces in Honolulu's papers. It was founded on the credo "to prevent men's violence against women". They've since erased the sexism from their slogan, but is it just semantics? Having been on the receiving end on this woman's antics, because I guess I piss her off, I wonder if I should start a Boy Fest?...OOH! I love it! By evening, we could have a Man Feast! (There'll be a Cherry Bustin' Cabaret... we'll burn jockstraps... hold guys-only events and stage elections without female votes ~ very Founding Fathers minus the Meddling Mothers! Thanks Girl Fest for the inspiration!)

My story keeps evolving as these she-nanigans unfold, so I'll give the basic rundown: some friends of mine Downetowne had planned to do a Pimps-n-Hos party called "Hookers Bring Your Pimps". While the term 'pimp' could be expanded to include anyone who acts as an agent for a prostitute (brothel owner, person who tells someone where to solicit sex workers, etc), I'm referring to the connotative "abusive male who forces a woman to have sex with people for money, and then takes her money". I believe that's the most widely understood definition of 'pimp', and to welcome such men to a party thrown for "Women Who Love Women", seems a little paradoxical. As a self-employed sex worker, had I known about the party before they changed the name, I probbly would have expressed it)

But a maxi-moronical group beat me to it, shamelessly flaunting their trademark lack of tact or class, with a complete refusal to engage in civil conversation, by staging a bullshit "boycott" of the party on Facebook. What was more confounding was how - without evident provocation -they even went so far as suggesting a full-on boycott of the venue too! While I can't stand how cowardly and obnoxious this tacky tactic was,I can't deny that these arrogant actions did draw attention to the 'pimp issue'. Even Ruby & company realized the insensitivity of their party name & promptly changed it.

It seems our theme for August’s party has caused quite the controversial discussion amongst some of our peers. First of all we’d like to thank you for all of your support and kind words at this time. We appreciate it all and of course you!

Second, while we do understand the views of those who oppose the chosen theme, we certainly don’t agree with how they have chosen to express their concerns. We would hope that an organization that defines itself as ‘raising awareness through education’ would do just that… make us aware of our insensitivity through direct discussion instead of attacking through a Facebook protest. It’s unfortunate the organization felt the need to raise conflict within the lesbian community in order to raise awareness for their cause. We do not condone these actions. We are not afraid to admit our mistakes and still hope that organizations with a common purpose can learn from each other.

We are honored to represent the LGBT community and are humbled by this experience. We sincerely apologize to those we have offended. We have since changed the theme to this party. We look forward to continuing our mission to provide a hip and social environment where lesbians can come together in a safe and non-discriminate manner.

Sincerely,
DowneTowne Events, LLC
Ruby Hong

Hmmm.... Lesbians on an island? You know if I ate pussy, I'm sure I could think of a few other ways to communicate my concerns, rather than an aggressive public attack via social media. How about a open-minded discussion via that same resource? Why not pick upp a phone, reach out and touch somebody? That wouldn't be dramatic enough, and you might not get the credit for the name change.

I can understand why this group has abandoned ration & reason. Showing respect to anyone involved in prostitution, could jeopardize their funding, so I can't fault these opportunists for also being capitalists. And since they're extremists, criticism only feeds their egos. Pissing people off is it's own reward when it helps you get your way, with the added bonus of publicity. Negative or not, any press is good press. Since they silence all opposition, and cloak themselves with victims, they can convince fools to part with their money.

But, we don't feel that this has been misguided and if some people in the club-scene consider us "grumpy grumps" well, we'll take that criticism if it means standing up for our clients (survivors of sex-trafficking) because events like these do not help their morale at all.

Our paths don't cross in "the club-scene", so I'll refrain from calling them "conniving cunts". But how does it help their clients' morale to be represented by someone who (on their behalf) single-handedly alienates entire communities, then hides behind their clients to justify such self-righteous misbehaviour? A "Non-Executive Director" with a 9-paragraph bio, who's best described by a single finger? But don't mind me. I'm just speaking from experience.

Someone once said something that contradicts me. Whoever left the comment at the end of that last link: I like your name!

Keep on Keepin' On...

2010-07-10T13:17:00.000-07:00

I just ordered my Jason Tom t-shirt. He's raising money to go to some Beatbox Convention or something or whatever, and we hope he makes it!

It's so appropriate that the design was influenced by R. Crumb's iconic "Keep on Truckin'" imagery. If one thing, Jason seems unstoppable. As the island's "most visible" (and approachable) human beatboxer, I love watching him pursue his art & persevere. He's a hard worker, and is growing as a performer, and I'm anxious to see how far he takes himself.

If you haven't seen it already, check out this "Shaka Shorty", featuring a 10 minute highlight of Jason's appearance on our show Shaka Talk.

2 Funky

2010-07-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun with Big Mox & DJ Sir Styles of Funky 4 Corners. It was an honour to have them on our set, and I could go on for days, but too stoned. When I sober upp, I'll try to do them justice. (thanks to Kris Stylez for posting us on your blog www.wearehi.com)

Shaka Talk #11 - Funky 4 Corners part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk #11 - Funky 4 Corners part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk #11 - Funky 4 Corners part 3 of 3

Pools R Cool

2010-07-05T08:40:00.000-07:00

I'd gotten a email (DJ Eskae), facebook (Christa Lite) & personal invitation (Zen) to the Bacardi b90x Aerobics Pool Party at the Waikiki Beach Marriott. I'm not very "party people I hope you're ready", but I knew if them 3 was gonna be there, it'd be chill.
I found one of the parking stalls at the zoo that doesn't have a meter, so I didn't have to worry about time. Hunched over the passenger seat, I smoked a few bowls, then walked the couple blocks to the hotel. I know it purty well 'cause if I ever go to Hula's & have to take a shit, I used to sneak out to the Marriott to use their bathrooms (doo-doo at a gay bar is a no-no). But now you need a hotel room key to enter the restrooms after a certain time, so I haven't gone to Hula's in a while.
I took the flight of steps off Kalakaua Ave upp to the pool area, but didn't see no one who looked like they live here. Was I gonna have to cut myself for getting it wrong and missing the party? I asked the bartender if had one nodda pool, and uncle said "da party stay on da mauka side".
As I walked toward the mountain, the music got louder and I could see another pool with dark people in it. Black folks even...Swimming! A rare, thus extremely good omen. Even had one sickening local braddah wit' Hello Kitty on his foot. I almost came & went, but decided to stay.
which legs're Lacy's?
I'd missed any giveaways or whatever sponsory-schwagginess there mighta been, but it there were still beach balls, boobs, botos & booties bouncing to DJ Nicky Savage, and my huzzbins from Nocturnal Sound Krew.

She wasn't there, but I could hear Ara's voice telling how my blog would be better with more photos. I ain't no partyyy pap, but didn't know what else to do with myself. With an anxiety attack coming on, I spent the first half hour I was there, forcing the nerve to say Hi, hiding behind my camera.
The architechs boiz perched themselves over by the hot tub, for a superb view of the festivities with the sun at their backs. Fitted was well represented by none other than the graceful yet gangsta, Bobby Filipino. (pictured seated below greeting someone I mistook for local renaissance man, DJ Jedi)
Pirate (not pilgrim) Jackie Mess was spreading FIFA fever like scurvy, with her fancy footwork. While supercw ever the most hostessy without boasting, kept spirits high with her dazzling smile, infectious energy & liquor hook-upps. (hiccupp!)
I took a couple pics of Zen: one because I seen him, and the other might look like a crotch shot, but I snapped it 'cause I like his suicide pact shoes. I don't wear Nike, but if I did, I'd get them ones.
I've never officially met Aly Gator. Sometimes I feel like I'm not peppy enough. I don't speak hipster, but maybe 90's 'alternative' might make sense: I feel like I'm KORN; and she's 311. Or how about R&B: she's Minnie Ripperton; and I'm Millie Jackson.

I don't know, but I run into Aly everywhere, even had one of her duets as my myspace song. When I seen her, I knew some merry mischief was about to ensue. Almost got J when I saw who was wrapped upp in this caper, but I caught it on video, and listening to the clip end with laughter just enamoured me with Aly even more, for some reason. So what if my huzzbins Mikey & Zen got her all wet? They still get me wet too, without my even asking, and they've never even laid a hand on me, either.

As the day went on, my high wore off, so I snuck back to my car for a couple puffs. I almost done it in the hotel stairway, but with my luck....NO! Back at the car, when I turned on the air con & flicked my Bic, it started raining. It was barely 5, and the flyer said they'd be there till 7. I considered digging out, but I was too high to drive now, so I went back.
The crowd had thinned, and I decided to take a dip. But I didn't have on sun-screen and I look pregnant, so I swam with my shirt on. That wasn't so bad, until I got out, and realized an old thin wet t-shirt is "NAGL" as the kids are wont to say.

I found a towel and headed to the bathroom. After ringing out my shirt and putting it back on, I wrapped the towel around myself like a shawl at first. That was too gay, felt like a salon smock, eww. So I just hung it over my shoulders, kinda jock-ish. Rocky-esque. Utch-bay.
At the table where I stashed my stuff, hung out a little with Davey Shindig. We talked about the girls he was looking at. I won't name them, but they're all the same size & shape.
Just as I was ready to slip out, I seen Zen by the Contrast 'tent', and knew I could'nt leave without saying Thanks & g'bye.
To my surprise, I wound upp talking to Contrast Magazine publisher Race Skelton & his copy editor/gf Mary for a while. Race was so funny. Cute to hear that he'd seen Shaka Talk, and I happened to have a DVD of season 1 in my pocket. I could tell he didn't know too many mahus, 'cause he was trying to be all PC about what he said. (At least he didn't talk all "Mary Fabulous O-nay Gurlfriend"...I woulda threw down or threw upp.) A little tipsy, he was nudging Mary to tell us about her "liberal media" ideas for the mag, and how she needed a gay boyfriend. I had to explain to her that I'm a drag queen, and that's where this conversation was coming from. Much of our talk led to our mutual friend Lyle, Race's partner in their clothing line Olde Ivory, and how cool he is. For our intro convo between me & Race, it was a perfect, awkward mutual admiration. Just the right note to excuse myself.
Plus, Landon Jumpoff had just showed upp, and I knew someone would yell rape if I stayed. Although I got to vicariously strip him and throw him in the pool via Aly (I'm still smiling:)), it was becoming too much. I'd swam, danced, lurked & leered enough for one day.

Consummate

2010-06-25T23:22:00.000-07:00

"Think about it: Bill is middle-aged, obese, with disposable income, & poor impulse control. He is the average American consumer." Peggy Hill

Let There Be Lite

2010-06-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

While I was stalking my huzzbin, I by chance ran across the video you may or may not see below. Hopefully the link works. When I seen it, at first I didn't think this was real. Now I'm having problems embedding it in this blog post.

Yung Matt vs Kidd Zoom

So as I watched that guy "Yung Matt" fumble with his shoes, I just thought he was one of those black guys who couldn't dance. They're more common than you know.

Then a couple minutes in I watched the second guy, Kidd Zoom aka Kid Zoom, who it seems might be in some kinda trouble(?) Right away after seeing him move, I knew this was legit. So I checked out the page it was from

$paceMan and $ Gotti Present LitefeetTV

Friday Nite Light, is apparently a dance party that features a style of moves called "Lite Feet". The dances evolved in New York City, and like many street-inspired arts, it became a competitive sport, just like skating, break dancing, freestyle rhyming, even graffiti & fighting, etc. To release all that energy, "don't fight, get lite".

Get Lite Video pt. 1

Like all types of dancing, there are popular groups, and inevitably stars emerge from them. I'm late to this sensation, and don't wanna act like I know, but I guess from the following video critique of a recent battle, someone named "Swiss" aka "Mr Youtube" must be a legendary dancer. "K MAC" of Fast Food Club believes that Swiss's moves are old, he's embarrassing himself, should step upp his game or retire.

Lite Feet Controversy (2 EAZY vs MR.YOUTUBE)

Mr Youtube must be someone influential for someone to record his own video commentary, while watching him dance on youtube. He even got top billin' for his interview in a brief "documentary" about Lite Feet.

Lite Feet Documentary

According to the guy in the documentary, Lite Feet is a combination of dances, including the Chicken Noodle Soup...

...as well as the Tone Whop...

...and the Harlem Shake among others. (this video's a farce, but I guess you've made it once white people figure out how to make money on you)

While I appreciate the call & respond improvised chat of the MC during the dance, one song producer who's become popular is Tye Trillion, with his monotonous mixes & viral videos, he gives you a pretty good picture of what is really goin' on.

Tye Trillion - Hit Me Kick Me (Official) Video

Bag a Trix - Tye Trillion

While I'm always incredulous to hear there's a new dance, expecially since I'm not a good dancer myself, I don't think I'd have given as much attention to Lite Feet, if not for one aspect of it: the shoe tricks. Yung Matt from the first video way above caught my eye but Kidd Zoom got me hooked, and it's now 9am. I saw that first video about 5 hours ago, and I'm barely finishing this blog. I'm obsessed!

The following video is top rated on Friday Nite Light's youtube channel. If you've got 9 minutes, I'd say its worth it. Kinda like ravers & their glowsticks, I thought it was ridiculous at first. Then as I watched each performer, I noticed each has his own style, rhythm & technique. Each dancer & his tricks get better as the video goes on, and if you've never seen this before, whether you appreciate it or not, how could you forget it? It's so funny, it's FIERCE!

40 Cal Vs Nae Davis

Vexing Prize

2010-06-09T02:13:00.000-07:00

Baby's come a long way.

Our current guest on Shaka Talk is stripper "Vixen Price". You may have seen her perform around Honolulu in the past, under different names as a singer/musician/puppet show proprietor, but in case her aunties or tutus accidentally catch the show, we'll stick to her current stage name, Vixen.

After travelling the Euro-continent, Vixen landed in San Francisco, where the sexual politics of the city fascinated her, (and her financial situation prompted her) to begin a career in erotic dancing. But she wasn't always so comfortable with her body.

A few years ago I was directing a shoot for Pendejo Magazine (R.I.P.), and Vixen agreed to model for us. Admittedly, it was for money, but she seemed to like the spontaneity of the request, and we were all rather excited at being semi-naked in public. However, at Zine Fest that year, when the magazine was finally released, Vixen's eyes welled-upp with tears, so publisher Ronnie Rucker & I started to worry.

We asked what was wrong, and she confessed that, she didn't realize how many lingering body issues she had, until seeing herself on the printed page. Not much else was said about the mag around her, and although we tried to blur out her face in the pics, when folks'd ask "is that your friend?" , Ronnie & I would laugh off the resemblance, and say it was someone who looked similar. Come to think of it, we should have said she'd styled the shoot, because that woulda been true.

When my co-hostess Edna Mc Man & I invited her to be our guest on Shaka Talk, Vixen already had some grand concepts in effect, that had to be reined in to fit onto one show. The Easter-inspired "piece" she'd planned to perform in our studio, wasn't a dance number, so we shot some B-roll of these bitches rolling around on the ground.

Vixen's Lesson for Edna pt 1

Part One of Vixen's Lesson for Edna was on my digital camera, and I think my camera work wasn't so bad. The segment we use on the air is from Part 1. While Part 2 was shot on my iPhone, and it hurts my eyes more than that first row seat at the opening night of Blair Witch Project did. Sorry.

In spite of my involvement, I think Vixen & Edna make upp for it with some sexy spectacles. There's even an unexpected character arc at the end of the second one that we allude to on our show. I'm most impressed by Vixen's energy and how she lets upp a little, but regains & maintains control & the direction of each clip.

Vixen's Lesson for Edna pt 2

Episode #10 of Shaka Talk opens with a clip from the Ms. Riot Pageant back from 2007 at Hula's. It's from the question & answer phase of the competition, hosted by Skeeter Mariah Crackseed, who does most of the talking. Vixen's reply to the question is actually a demonstration of the self-defense powers her accessories are imbibed with.

Shaka Talk #10 w/ Vixen Price part 1

During the interview, Vixen introduced us to a new term: faux queen, which I guess refers to a female who dresses extravagantly, or exaggeratedly feminine, as most male drag performers do. She also explains her interpretation of the term "queer". According to her definition, queer is someone who's come to terms with their sexuality & attractions, and the varying shades they're coloured with.

Shaka Talk #10 w/ Vixen Price part 2

Yes, Vixen is a stripper, but in the clip of a music video we show, it turns out D.R. removes both Vixen's & her own clothes. Though it's not discussed, this moment may have been a factor in Vixen's becoming a dancer. But she says it was the open sexual culture in San Francisco that led her work as a performer to take the erotic route.

While choreographing a number for a theatre performance, one of her accompanists told her she could get sponsors for her art, if she incorporated stripping into her work. That same friend happened to be a dancer, and took Vixen under her tutelage & taught her the ropes.

Vixen talks of the reverence and power of the vagina. Although the costuming and posturing are directed at titillating a man, she relishes the power a woman has over that man when she wields control of her body for the purpose of his enjoyment. She also dispels the myth that all club dancers perform sex acts while working. While Vixen has considered it, she doesn't have sex for money, nor does she frown upon it.

She says that dancing has made her the most honest that she's ever been. "It's the most raw social playground that I've ever been on. You have the whole spectrum of humanity as your customers & as your co-workers." While she acknowledges that for some, the sex industry is something they turn to when they're "down and out", "once you get in it, it's kind of a golden ticket, and then you realize that the taboo is really nothing at all."

Shaka Talk #10 w/Vixen Price part 3

I bring upp the question of breast size, and Vixen discusses the wide array of fetishes and facets of sexuality. Then we introduce the clip from part 2 of Vixen's Lesson for Edna, while Vixen runs back to the dressing room to change into her performance costume. Awkwardly for Edna, she didn't know which part of the clip we were showing, and I think she was a bit embarrassed at how enthusiastic she became during the lesson, and you can hear her reaction in the overlapping audio during the show.

Such is the charm of live television (live-to-tape, without edits), Vixen's costume change took longer than expected, thus Edna & I are forced to stall for time. We realize that the day we're shooting is Easter, so we go on an egg hunt to find Vixen. Diar decides to display her own stripping techniques, revealing some weird contours of her body. Which is more irritating: D.R.'s voice? or being exposed to her nearly nude body in motion?

Finally Vixen returns, with more eggs on and in her body, for us to search for and discover. These eggs hatch with jewelry, noisemakers, and even wads of cash. Vixen's crotch is a rainbow of Easter grass, with rabbit shaped pasties over her chichi's. She dedicates her performance to Jesus, and the show ends soon after Vixen's fake pubes fall off, as do Diar's panties.

Promo Sapiens

2010-06-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

We love Olelo. Last month all of our guests couldn't make it to our shoot date for one reason or another. Luckily, my huzzbin BBJ of Olelo's own 808 Scene told us we could use the time wisely, and shoot some Promos. So we did.

Shaka Talk Promo - Check Us Out

The schedulers were really cool & kind to us (as usual), and gave us some major spots during prime time. However, after reviewing our June episode with stripper "Vixen Price", I realized that I look pretty gross, compared to how close I came to cute in the promos. And while Vixen didn't show pink like she'd planned, she does show a lot, while Edna & I expose quite a bit ourselves. So I thought it'd be inappropriate to invite such a broad audience to see that show.

Shaka Talk Promo - We Need Guests

I called & asked them to give our promos an "adult rating", meaning it'll air only after midnight for the month of June. Hopefully our tentative guests for our next shoot can make it, and then in July we can schedule the promos to run during prime time again. (thanks Dominique!)

Shaka Talk Promo - Quickie

We didn't plan it that way, but incidentally, Edna & I are rocking wardrobe all by local companies. We found Edna's "Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!" top at Limited Addiction, while my fitted cap I bought on a bad hair day at Dig Lifestyles, and I picked upp my iKandy t-shirt from their table at Inertia 7.

Thanks for reading & watching y'all!

Shaka Talk
Thursday nights @ 11:59pm Hawaii Time
Channel 52, streamed live at Olelo
or even On Demand

Mahaloooha!!! You so Nice.

2010-05-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

Aloha. Mahalo. Fo da follow, and the all around nice things everbody's been saying about Shaka Talk. Y'all just make it that much more fun! And the haters: y'all're funny too! Some o' y'all're cute too. It's so random, the people who've seen our show, and it's nice to hear when our guests get recognized! Even if viewers can't stand Edna or I (D.R.), at least they become fans of the cool people we have on our show.

Due to some techo-difficulties and laziness, we had to buss' ass to cut together "Shaka Shorties", 10 minute excerpts from each of the 9 episodes we like to call "Season 1". You may notice, sadly, that co-host Edna Mc Man is absent from the "Eating in Public" interview, and even though there are other interviews without her, we are happy to say that Edna Mc Man is back in the house, and shaking her shakas like only she can!

Please enjoy "Shaka Shorties", and tell us if you or anyone you know wants to be on our show: email shakazine@gmail.com or befriend us on Facebook & follow us on Twitter. Thanks again y'all. Hope you're havin' as much fun as we are. Season 2 starts in June!

Shaka Shorties #1 Origamist Extraordinaire Won Park

Shaka Shorties #2 Perception Technician Alex Iverson

Shaka Shorties #3 Fine Ass Funny Filmmaker Gerard Elmore

Shaka Shorties #4 Cute Comedy Troupe In Yo Face Improv (IYFI)

Shaka Shorties #5 Hyper Human Beatbox Jason Tom

Shaka Shorties #6 Quickie HIV Test by the Life Foundation

Shaka Shorties #7 Punk Baker Otto Cake

Shaka Shorties #8 Reminiscent Renaissance Man Harry Ramos

Shaka Shorties #9 Proper Agitators Eating in Public

In the can at Cannes

2010-05-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is the first video I ever upploaded to youtube, on a page I eventually lost the password to.

I never made it to the Cannes Film Festival, but I've stayed at the Carlton Cannes the hotel where Alfred Hitchcock shot his classic film To Catch a Thief.

Ever had a better offer in your whole life? One with everything?
The downstairs bathroom in the lobby of the hotel has a fully automated toilet. Just swipe your hand over some sensor of sorts, and it not only puts the seat down with a paper cover to protect your ass, but swipe again, and it also flushes itself & the cover, then puts the seat upp for you. (I've seen other videos of similar toilets, and wonder how much water/electricity/paper/time is wasted each year just so fools like us can post a video of it in action?). I forget if there's a bidet. How many high class frogs shuffle sideways, panties around their ankles, from the toilet, to the bidet? I prefer paper.

As long as you're satisfied, who could ask for anything more?

Lolita Liberadorita

2010-05-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

“When Lupe walked into the courtroom and it was like a courtroom drama movie,” said the district attorney in the case. “Lupe is not only the world’s youngest looking porn star, but a humanitarian who cares about justice.” (via thefrisky.com)

My short footnote in her story matters to few but myself, but Lupe Fuentes, the lovely lassie who's a big hit in Europe, and recently began working in the US Adult Industry, was involved in a scene right out of a made-for-basic-cable tv movie directed by Pedro Almodovar. She also helped shine a light on the shenanigans & chicanery legal systems will employ to punish people for being human.

Last Summer I got a phone call from Evan Seinfeld aka "Spyder Jonez", vocalist/guitarist of Biohazard, star of TV show OZ, and the porn star I met when he was married to sex icon Tera Patrick. Evan told me about a starlet named Little Lupe, the petite porn ingenue from Spain, who is already a household name, synonymous with sex in Europe. Lupe and her huzzbin/director, Pablo Lapiedra were visiting Hawaii for the Summer, and needed host around town. Could I help them? Evan promised all kinds of hook-upps & hand-outs, but I said "no need". I was happy to help.
I was totally charmed by both Pablo & Lupe. They were a bit disoriented, as tourists in America, with some dude they didn't know. What they found surprising was I didn't know them! "We are so famous" he told me, and I almost laughed, thinking of Margaret Cho's mom. He explained how popular Lupe is in Europe, and that she was hoping to spread her wings (among other things) in America, and so they flew to Hawaii to relax on the beach, before dipping their toes into the hectic Hollywood porn pool.
We spent half the day waiting in line for some kinda official kine stuff for their stay in the US. It was when she made a mistake on the paperwork that I learned Lupe's real name is Zuleidy /zoo-LAY-dee/. We communicated in broken Spanglish, about what I done when I went to Spain (I even wore a shirt designed by my favourite Spanish graffiti artist Pez, but they never heard of him), and I suggested a few tings they should see & do while they was here. Whenever we couldn't understand each other, or think of what to say, or how to say it, we'd laugh it off. It seemed like jokes were easier to tell, even though I doubt we were all laughing at the same thing. It was adorable how bright-eyed though jet-lagged they were.
Afterwards we walked over & took pics by the Kamehameha statue & Iolani Palace. I told them it was "muy importante", and tried to explain as best I could who/what each represented, without expressing too much of my half-White shame/hate. (Shate?) Next, someone had to go bathroom, so we hit over to Jack in the Box across from the Blaisdell. (Shat?) Then of course Wal-Mart for cheap tourist crap made anywhere but America, much less Hawaii. (Shit?) We wound upp cruising thru Waikiki a s'kosh, eating Japanese food, then some ice cream, before I had to go get ready for work. (Shetty) We hugged & said our alohas. I haven't heard from them since. (Shady)....(Just kidding).
But I have been following both Evan and Lupe on Twitter. Apparently Tera & Evan are divorced, but remain business partners, while he & Lupe have hooked upp. I won't embarrass you with their mushy sweet tweets. It's cute, and it's obvious they're in love. Lupe is one of Teravision's newest stars, and she & Evan have been seen everywhere,, working hard to make her an even bigger star, while making the fans happy. They've recently launched www.ilovelupe.com, Lupe's been featuring dancing, and even has branded her own sex toy.

Meanwhile, as I write this, I discovered Tera's published her autobiography called "Sinner Takes All" (which happens to have a foreward by Margaret Cho). From the following interview, I gather it's a "tell all", as well as a "cautionary tale", about herself and the industry. I wonder if Lupe's read it? Tera's a clever business woman, so I bet a lot of people could learn something from her.
Just hearing how Tera re-connected with her mom through the book, made me kinda emo right now. I'm happy for her. (Plus I'm stoked that she thanked two groundbreaking angels by name: her mentor Teri Weigel, as well as AIM founder Sharon Mitchell.)

Tera Patrick "Sinner Takes All" interview on Unfiltered part 1

Tera Patrick "Sinner Takes All" interview on Unfiltered part 2

I either gotta wait for the paperback, or pull a date to afford the $30 cover price, but the book includes a recommendation on the inside flap from, among other stars, Carmen Electra (whose real name happens to be "Tara Leigh Patrick", unbeknownst to the porn star at the time she chose her name, according to Tera when I asked her. Not sure what the book says).

Meanwhile...Lupe & Evan were in the news recently, for actually saving a guy's life! Carlos Simon-Timmerman, a New York man on his way home from Puerto Rico was stopped at the airport, and charged with possession & transportation of child pornography, because he had a bootleg copy of "Little Lupe the Inncocent", a movie Lupe had made when she was 19 years old.

After the suspect had already spent some months in jail & under house arrest, and the prosecutors had presented the testimony of a government official, as well as another from a pediatrician, both claiming professional certainty that the girl in the movie was under 18 (they could tell just by watching the movie!), it seemed that Simon-Timmerman was doomed to spend the next 20 years in jail.

But then Lupe got a call for help from Simon-Timmerman's lawyer via her myspace page. It was the first time she'd become aware of anyone being in trouble for having one of her movies, and Lupe was concerned and uppset. She and Evan immediately flew to PuertoRico....

Via MySpace, the legal team contacted Lupe in hopes that her testimony could set him free. She immediately agreed and flew to Puerto Rico on April 6th, 2010 to appear in court on April 7th, 2010 to state her case in court, presenting evidence copies of documents showing her birth date, and dates of production for the Little Lupe DVD. “Lupe walked into the courtroom and it was like a courtroom drama in a movie”, according to Assistant Public Defender Héctor L. Ramos-Vega. “When Lupe walked in, that tiny human being, she looked like she was seven feet tall. She owned the room, and she immediately won the jury over.” The prosecution, recognizing that its case had been completely discredited, moved to dismiss all of the charges against Simon-Timmerman." (via examiner.com)

According to Evan: "In Puerto Rico, the federal prosecutors win over 99% of their cases."

Aside from the tacky fact that this incident could help promote Lupe's career, what's more significant is how she stood upp for herself, her fans, and her industry. There are a lot of jealous zealots, who've not only demonized sexuality & attraction, but will go so far as to ruin a man's life, in order to meet their agenda.

Porn stars are the unlikely advocates & defenders of our First Amendment rights to Freedom of Speech, which are being fought daily. Meanwhile they are ardent fighters against child pornography, as it not only damages their industry, but because many involved have been victims of abuse on different levels.

As a sex worker, I feel privileged & inspired to have met Lupe, Evan, Tera & others involved in the industry, who fight for their rights, as well as the rest of ours. Whether you watch or produce pornography, or are involved in any creative process that challenges social mores and attitudes, there are a legion of forces working against you. We have to remain vigilant, because they thrive on ignorance, deception and blind/deaf/dumb obedience. (note to self: kinda melodramatic, don't you think? note back: sorry, I was just hanging out at Revolution Books the other day. But I voted. Is Colleen Hanabusa cool? I think she maled out unsolicited cookbooks a while back. Got USA in her name)

Hopefully I'll get to meet her again, but until then I send a very grateful gracias & muchos mahalos to Lupe Fuentes.

Viva las vergas y vaginas!

Can Do!

2010-04-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

"This state's recycling program is really sad" says Gaye Chan in voice-over during Eating in Public's PSA about their anarchist "HI-5 Recycling Bin" project. Gaye, along with Nandita Sharma, were our guests on episode 9 of Shaka Talk. They made the 30 second spot with help from the super cool cuties at Olelo. Basically, make a bin, put it out there, then take a picture & email it to info@nomoola.com so they could put it on their blog and map. Keep it upp. "More is more better."

a man of his word

2010-03-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

"I'm almost free"

livicated to my huzzbin

Sensual Seduction

2010-03-11T15:51:00.000-08:00

Everything about this video tickles & tortures me. Feel lucky to be left with a lump in my throat & a lump in my panties. J/K I'm a fag, but no homo: Lucky Olelo, I love you.

Lucky Olelo
www.hisuerte.com
www.soulsignaturetattoo.com
www.youtube.com/1luckyolelo1

Sarah Shakes a Shaka for Shaun on Leno, (not my huzzbin Sean Lennon).

2010-03-04T04:09:00.001-08:00

I'm changing my previous wordage 'cause it was nails and obvious I hadn't really paid attention to her. I didn't even notice that Sarah Palin was shakin' them shakas for Shaun White. She's a fuckin' tripp! And what a dream come true: for a comedian to kill on Leno? Dat ish iz Bonanza, Murry! (and the video's probbly 86 soon)

No Moola Eating in Public

2010-02-28T11:26:00.000-08:00

It took me a while to relax for this episode. Me & my guest hostess Malia Slusarenko (also known as Ms. Martini, amongst other aliases) had just shot an episode during which I interview Malia one on one. My co-hostess Edna Mc Man had her own little episode, and took a hiatus, but has returned ready to rumble. Hopefully we'll shoot again soon. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy. Ronnie Rucker of Beneath Everything Radio loves Malia's "Shame the State" comment.

Our guests were Gaye Chan and Nandita Sharma of "Eating in Public"
Per Gaye's request I'm gonna post the days the show is scheduled to air (that don't mean it will, but after, it should be On Demand. Whatever, you'll see it soon somehow.) Hopefully on
Thursday nights @ 11:59pm HT on Channel 52.
[Thurs March 4, 11, 18 & 25]

ShakaTalk #9 Eating In Public part 1 of 3

I had to change lyrics to reflect that there was only one cock-in-frock for this episode. Felt weird. But Malia's smile is so illuminating, and Nandita & Gaye were so comfy & cute I didn't have a meltdown. Of course I asked them if their collaborative anarchism make them terrorists, which may have taken them aback for a second, but Gaye was quick to point out "only if you get scared". Their project "Eating in Public" seeks to "problematize the concept of public within public space."

I'll keep editing. Gotta go work. Just watch if you have time. Or else I'll synopsize when can.

ShakaTalk #9 Eating In Public part 2 of 3

ShakaTalk #9 Eating In Public part 3 of 3

Winnahs?

2010-02-26T12:47:00.000-08:00

thanks Edna for editing our Olelo Video Contest entry. I never really entered a contest before. The criteria (that I could remember) are that your shows must have premiered and aired in 2009, and you gotta choose from a list of categories, one show per category. Then submit a 5 minute "best of" clip for consideration by Feb 27. I actually got it in with about a week to spare. Hope we didn't rush it. I think it's cute.
I guess we fall under "arts & entertainment", and episodes #1-6 qualify since they premiered last year. I watched each show and wrote down timecodes and notes (my edit decision list), but it was taking forever for Edna to edit that way, so I just let her choose what she thought would work, and I must admit, I'm happy with it. Maybe even impressed. Of course there's lots of stuff we had to leave out, but I think we captured the essence of Shaka Talk.
Wish us luck!

Harried Hurry

2010-02-12T05:01:00.000-08:00

I been so caught upp in my huzzbin (bf left for Valentine's Weekend, how's that?), I forgot our show was on tonight, again! I suck at this.

But our guest Harry Ramos is such a cutie, I was worried about uppsetting him. You could see how nervous & forcibly sedate I am (we went to Moanalua High School together so I've grown to admire him from afar & upp close when we used to hang out during the time we worked together at Jelly's Market City.
The pic above is after I'd changed for our next guest. Pity during our interview I resemble a old jack o'lantern that you throw out the day before Thanksgiving 'cause you don't want your friends & family to see how lazy & gross you are, when they come over to eat. That's how I look. Yet Harry's adorable, and Edna's a whorable delight. Sometime after this night, I'll once again watch & write what's upp!

Till then, watch 'cause I've been summoned.

ShakaTalk #8 Harry Ramos part 1 of 3

I always assume our techie knows our theme song, as if they have time to watch every show on Olelo. As if they have interest! So the last half of the song goes from our logo to black. But at least it doesn't cut off the poem (about poetry) by Two Warriors (shot downtown at Next Door) that opens the show. Harry was visiting his family in Hawaii en route to the Phillippines, and so since his spoken word duo would be on hiatus while Harry travelled, his partner Marc Habana came to Hawaii as well, and they performed while here. After a shout out to Moanalua High School upp the street from Olelo, Harry lists the places he's taught at. So smart him. Right away we start talking about his zine "Ska-Doodle", that he made with Old Skool Fool Billy Craven. That evolved into "10 27", a zine whose name origin he won't divulge for private reasons, although it does happen to be the station numbers of Radio Free Hawaii, where Harry first became well-known on the air as DJ Ska-rry. We watch a video/manual slideshow narrated by Harry. Harry recalls his days at the station, starting with phone surveys for Kathy with a K, to the day Jus' Kai decided to let Harry take over the last hour of her set. Eventually he took ska to the masses with club gigs, and show promotion.

ShakaTalk #8 Harry Ramos part 2 of 3

Harry shares a historical sidenote about the formation of worldwide hit, local boys Go Jimmy Go. Larry Gordon, one of the founding members, asked Harry to announce on the air that Larry was looking to start a band. Eventually the 9-piece group played their first show at the Waipahu studio, and even wrote the song "Tin Penny" about Harry (first of the chicken-skin moments). Talk turns to "Expressions" the open-mic event Harry used to host on Kapahulu, which would regularly feature actors, musicians, shy girls, Jesus freaks, and mahus, among other performers. Harry is a performer as well, and describes his first role in the play "Katipunan! Cry for Freedom", which also marked a cultural awakening for him. He eventually migrated to New York, where he thinks he acts more Hawaiian, since there he plays in a Hawaiian band, and dances hula, even teaches ukulele & keiki hula! A propos of nothing, I segue to Harry's poem about his boner.

ShakaTalk #8 Harry Ramos part 3 of 3

He tells us how he and Marc began writing and performing together, and explains the difference between slam poetry, and spoken word poetry (which Two Warriors does). Of course we get on the subjects of how Filipinos have saturated the media, and are the second largest Asian population in the US. However, he will be moving to the Philippines, and Edna requests that he asks them to change the way they speak half Flip, half English. Very her. Then I tell a very racist Filipino joke. Very me. By request, Harry performs his poem "My Pidgin", which I think is kinda powerful, but our techie did some kinda cheesy special effect half-way thru, that is purty distracting. I don't think he could tell while it was happening. Sorry Harry. It's only for a brief moment, and the rest of the poem gives us our second chicken skin moment of the show.

This ain't no fuckin' luau!

2010-02-11T09:02:00.000-08:00

I used to live in Kailua, and I forget that road that connects the route to Kailua town to that shopping center, but sometimes I'd cut through there and see trippy shit

BOOM!!! Ka Nani

2010-02-11T06:31:00.000-08:00

My friends called me to help them shoot a video we'd been talking about for daze. It was a few years ago I guess 'cause my friend Man Eater Shoes" (whose Mercedes she's dancing on) don't live here no more. Nor does DJ Joulz (of downtown not so long ago) who ran one camera and probbly done the editing.

The rest of the girls I still see around, but they come & go quite often too. Most of 'em's IONA Contemporary Dance Theatre alums! I'm too coocoo for butoh, so luckily they have their other performance troupes (Giinko Marischino vs House of Chandelier), or else I wouldn't be able to hang out backstage and get naked with all of 'em. Last time I had the privelege was during a special engagement our house mother Cocoa Chandelier presented to some Chinese dignitaries. They've been in Honolulu for the past few months collaborating with UH, in an exciting production of "The White Snake", a Jingju Chinese Opera, currently running right now at Kennedy Theatre)

Now back to our story: I don't know who the location scout was, but we took that road toward Kakaako Park, then turned right at that school with the kalo sculpture. A couple blocks upp we found a spot in front of a fence where the sidewalk ended. It was to be the perfect backdrop for these drop-dead gorgeous gorgons: a chain link fence shielding mountains of dirt, amongst trees & tractors framing a landscape of various shapes of skyscraperie.
We parked legally, then all the girls dumped their costume & make-upp bags on the sidewalk for each other to scrounge & scavenge through, to find the perfect accoutrement that might be missing from the ensembles they showed upp in. Had it been a bunch a boys in ballgowns, there'd've been a furious fluorescent flurry of accessories & attitude. This was more like a scene out of RuPaul's Fag Hag Race, where instead of competing, these real ladies were cooperating, completing & complimenting each others looks! The vaginal advantage!
Once the girls got fully regaled, Joulz & this karate dancer guy + me spread out parallel to 3 POV coordinates of our makeshift set. The sun was going down behind us, so we had to get back kinda far and zoom in to lose our shadows from the viewfinders. Then the girls all climbed into or on top of Malia's vintage Mercedes, while Joulz yelled ACTION! kinda anxiously, for we feared losing light.

The ladies of Mercedes 8 did their thing! Laughing at themselves inside, they self-mockingly put on a serious face and proceeded lip-syncing the silly novelty song, the classic "Cars That Go Boom" by L'Trimm.

Evidenced by their extraordinary rendition, these girls don't fool around when they fool around! From the staging of each verse, to the cheesey amateurish choreography (albeit impressive bgirl-ing), me and the other cameradudes had to fight back boners & belly laughs, to keep our jaws from dropping altogether! There's a serpentine line between camp & cutting edge, and I'm not sure if these girls were leaping over or limbo-ing under it!

I barely remember doing more than one take though, while these professional prankstresses danced & pranced proudly. Cars -& even TheBus- passed patiently, more worried about missing a moment, than getting in our way. We slowly figured out there was a homeless shelter back there, by the crowd of families, lonely loners, hobos, and stinky hotties that gathered to watch in shock & awe. I felt foxy & famous by proxy!
Right when the song was over, as if by nature & without skipping an off-beat, things broke out into a photo shoot! All glammed upp? Why not ham it upp for their extemperaneous temporary fan club?!? Acting oblivious, but obviously attracted to and by their observers, these exhibitionistic flashy sistas struck poses & turned out tacky tableaus, all just to give themselves & those who happened to be gifted by their presence, another good show!
It didn't take long for Joulz to edit and post the finished video. It's flawless in its imperfections! From the grainy picture quality, to the not-so-special effects, together they make the video look dated & antiquated, as if it was modern & current at the time of the song's release! Right away, BOOM! Ka Nani! our video was tagged for copyright infringement! (they were J) I bet they just erased the audio. Hmm...I wonder how it'd work with any other song? Anyways, now, a few years later, it's somehow resurfaced, and so I hope you enjoy it while it lasts.
The ridiculous brilliance of the players in & all over the scenes, make me proud to say that although the part I played that day was peripheral, I witnessed & captured the genius & rapture of my retarded friends.

Click here for more photos from that day, as well the night they performed the same song from the car, parked downstairs at Ong King, leading upp into the club!

Ther mus b Anne Angyal playng w/my < 3

2010-02-11T06:13:00.000-08:00

Hire her!

pickin' out the drapes

2010-01-26T06:50:00.000-08:00

poetry in commotion Ted de Oliveira rises upp

Cheese

2010-01-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

Took long enough, but Shaka Talk #7 with special guest Otto Cake is finally upp on our youtube page. Like all episodes of Shaka Talk, it can also be found "On Demand" at olelo.org.

Otto and I have a history. Over the years we've collaborated on publishing zines, putting on shows, and playing in bands. Although we didn't always see eye to eye, we never went mano e mano, but lord knows we would have, if we were butch enough. I might be the drag queen, but he's more of a lady than I am. Ever polite and professional, even when he's pissed off. Yet as often as we come into conflict, I must credit Otto for a lot of my luck as a "performer" here in Hawaii. I've been very fortunate to work alongside someone as energetic and driven as he is, and am compelled to confess that his likability and hard work made it possible for me to reach a larger audience, than someone with my sloppy style & lazy work ethic should ever hope to expect. (I blame the weed for lethargy & paranoia.)

Shaka Talk #7 - Otto Cake Part 1 of 3

The episode opens with a performance of RED ANTS, a song I wrote 20 years ago and have performed way too many times, thanks to Otto. We originally did the song with his first band The Sticklers during the Miss Understood Pageant in the late 1990's. His new band "Pray For Thunder" played the song as opening act for the 2009 Hawaii Underground Music Awards (HUMAs), and right at the beginning Otto gets eaten by Hawaii's own Violetta Berretta (now of Porlad, OR) and the girls of Cherry Blossom Cabaret. After the clip we discuss his first job as roller rink DJ and whether that made him gay; his multitude of bands, including the time The Sticklers got kicked off stage at the Warped Tour; his artwork manifesting a fear of RED ANTS; and his bakery that recently opened in Downtown Honolulu.

Shaka Talk #7 - Otto Cake Part 2 of 3

Otto briefly describes his vision behind the HUMAs (presenting them bi-annually to give enough artists time to produce a CD), and defends himself against the fact that perhaps not everyone was pleased with the production. He says he meant it to be a form of entertainment, "like a play."** He mentions the 4 times he's toured with his bands, twice each with The Sticklers and The 86 List. My co-hostess Edna wonders about the chorus "going back underground" in the 86 List video we play, "Chinatown", and is surprised to learn the song has a literal meaning. Chinatown in Honolulu has a rich subterranean history, and the lyrics refer to a former club where some of Hawaii's bands got their start. The video was shot during The 86 List's "Lucky" tour, but Otto evades the question about a certain blueballs experience during his travels.

While covering his previous acting roles in Cruel Theatre's interactive plays, and his recurring stint as Hedwig [and the Angry Inch], (which he'll be remounting yet again this Spring at Laughtrack Theatre), to our surprise he lets on that his experience in drag wasn't all fun. He simultaneously faced the challenge of memorizing a script, since he admittedly isn't such a proficient reader.

Shaka Talk #7 - Otto Cake Part 3 of 3

Along with plans to remount a bare bones staging of Hedwig, Otto's writing songs for a solo CD of original music that promises to be a departure from the punk rock we've come to expect from him. He swears though, that it's not just an atttempt to monopolize the next HUMAs. We further mock his assertion of shyness, as he tells of his "wardrobe malfunction" during a burlesque performance. As time runs out, we have enough to play the Candy Diaz-directed video for The Sticklers' "Boogie Man", inspired by Otto's obsession with the 1978 movie Halloween. Then finally, to kill the last few moments, at Edna's suggestion, we take an impromptu dance break, as Otto flashes his signature Punk Rock hand gesture.

Damn punk ass bitch motherfucker. SHIT!

4 Daze (My '09 Faves)

2009-12-28T15:41:00.000-08:00

All I know is that I don't know nothing 'bout makin' no music.
Well, I was in a few bands, but just words & vocals. I might remember something on ukulele, or of course Star Wars on recorder/flutophone. Couple songs I made upp on guitar I guess. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on piano. So maybe. Hey.
Wow! I'm cooler than I thought. This article's gonna be relevant!
But I'm not hip. Don't ask me to compare these bands to no one else 'cause my references would be distant and dated. I'm not tangled upp in the information superweb, 'cause it kinda rejects me, so I just get to know mostly what I hear live. Then I'll buy a CD. Or better yet, get one FREE.
It's a revelation to see your heroes grow and evolve. Expecially when they do it with grace, grooming their edges, whether they've smoothed them out or not. Then there's the yummy young'uns who can make you feel bright-eyed and light-footed with some fresh classics.

Anyway, here's the Discs I played a lot in my car and on my lap during 2009:

Cronseedz Demo
Though only 5 songs, plus two live tracks, this was my favourite.

The Cronseedz's chaotic charisma, snakelike, charms your mind, booty and sole. Sounds skate punk blues grassy speed rockin' rubber rollin' by nature. Like so totally mature, hella humble, super human & hot. Deal with it: even with more teeth & less of that gone-too-far way, Kale Sandridge manages to stay one of the most arresting individuals I wanna encounter with. Equally infamous for his skateboarding skills, as his eccentric antics, he artistically embodies the hymn 'Skate & Destroy' to the point of bodily harm. Cheshire cat chagrinish, Kale bares quite a bit on this EP. And it's done well: raw, as on brooding bellows like "Brain Damage". Ruthless but sans rue, in "Raw Deal" he ruminates how heroin ruined relationships, then heralds his return to reality. Moodmelding swingers like "Not One of Them" and "Skater 4 Life" rock out the volatile joie de vivre that these board bound cuties roll and rage by. Bolder and wiser guys're why Punk's Not Dead!!

Jimmy Defiant "Last Chance"
I think he's in a band called Beautiful Disaster, and DJs at Manifest Wednesday nights right now.

I'm quite hard. I mean: It's hard to be quiet about Jimmy Defiant, but I'm gonna try it. His music is understated, easily related to, like he's been liberated too. "Jaded but innocent" is how I said it to him. Right away I tried to edit my words and apologized, but he just smized and I realized that I kinda came correct. It's so not what I'd expected from this JD, which is one thing I can rely on: surprises! I've had my eyeses on him from the nights he was ubiquitious, til the days it seemed he'd upp and quit us. That bandit stole more than my heart when he skipped out, but now that he's back in the light, it no doubt feels right that he served upp this lo-fi HI-phat platter of bittersweet ballads, with broke down-to-basics beats lifting lilting lyrics. Spit and sung, son! Hear it more like Jimmy eats the world and feeds back, doesn't carry it on his shoulders like some whack backpack quack. Now that he's older, this baby-faced bad boy's armour is hardened yet he hazards to offer a softer side. (no homo)

The JumpOffs "The Jump Off"
Make me wanna do bad things to good boys. But do it well. Nice-like. Lights out for sure. Anonymous close upps in secret snapshots.

Love: Oriental Ring of cinco passionate Asian syncopationistos! Like when you're more impressed that your cousin can pick ukulele, not just strum dumb Jahwaiian jams? Same-same. But these babes belie they're bestial below the belt by redirecting your radar at the shredders' ambidextrous audacity on his instrument, while keeping bassic beats down to catch a feel, 'cause them Jumpoffs can fidget their fingers, for real! Each man handles himself with two fists-aflare, daring any head not to bang, neck bob, nor butt bounce. Slow down and their mellow tunes induce swoons, following the focal point stream from the vocalist boy of my dreams, to the other yellowish~brown creme dela creams in tight genes. Their accessible air from the safety of the speaker or stage, flaunt their flare from afar. Such as their songs make me shimmy my feet & swivel my seat, I'm wont to wonder which ones're good in the sheets?

Deadbeats Deadbeats
I've heard these shamanic showmen's shenanigans can turn Jazz Minds into a juke joint (Wednesdays next to Aaxtion Video)

You know these guys're are a good lei. Just the way they joyfully jostle and jam their spazzy spunky jazzy funky hip trip hop bop. Non stop their stage presence is the greatest gift of all, even if it means learning to love myself in the middle of their set. Back from the bathroom stall, you'd forget they're youths, so smoothely these boys flow and float your boat over a sea of soul soundscapades. Tasteful and seasoned, I wanna fill upp on their flavour! Didn't do myself no favour by flirting with them in public, tryin' get private with their pubics! It's just so hard not to come on too strong, hunny these randy rhymes and wiley riling right on rhythms make me wanna be startin' somethin' with 'em.

What did I forget or miss out on? Which CDs should I get next? Just bought Ted's latest, and I'm feeling it. Get Wormhole on top. Ted harmonizes himself. First of 2010 already. P.

You got to roll with the punches to get to what's real.

2009-12-16T06:18:00.000-08:00

These guys are daredevil criminals. They've been arrested for jumping off tall things. I caught upp to them on Current, my new favourite TV-channel-I-didn't-know-we-had (Oceanic 0900 at my house). When they shot in May 2008, the French guy whose face you could see, and the English dude whose face is blurred, held the world's record for base jumping off the tallest building in the world, Burj Dubai.

Let's chase them as they illegally sneak on to the unfinished building site, climb and sweat uppward for hours, admire the view from above, parachute off a balcony, evade cops, then finally shake a shaka! as they revel in their rise to the top of their game.

La Vida Loco

2009-12-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

Ripped off these images from the Royal Hawaiian Pool Service blog. Can't get 'em at their store no more, so I couldn't resist (at risk of being destroyed myself!). Brief but badass entries feature figures from skating's past, present and beyond, including local pool skating legends General Gary Owens, and Kale Sandridge the fuckin' rockstar. Hawaiians by heart & hardcore to the bones, this brigade of shredders showcase nifty novelties and shit on naff nostalgia surrounding the lives, steez, and lifestyle of these athletes.
Though entry can be exclusive it's far from elitist, as they invite you to jump in on their journey by going so far as to teach you how to build a pool. Don't be shocked if they show upp uninvited.
Live, learn, and support your loco skateboarders.

Shaka To Me!

2009-12-13T07:25:00.000-08:00

Doing his best Gerard Elmore impersonation, because he knows how it turns me on, my huzzbin Taylor Lautner sent me some secret messages during his stint as host of Saturday Night Live last night.

good god go

2009-12-04T03:15:00.001-08:00

I didn't hear all of Obama's speech the other day about his plans for Afghanistan, but I did listen to an interview by BB Kim, with Vietnam veteran Lenny, who was on his way to the hospital, comfortable with, though fearful of, the fact that he might not come out alive.

(press >play and if the player don't work, click on his name to hear BB's interview with Lenny, )

BB flattered me by asking if I'd be interested in being interviewed by her for an uppcoming project she's working on, perhaps for 'Olelo, the stations that broadcast my show Shaka Talk. I was at first shy about it. It's hard for me to talk about myself, expecially at the hands of another person. I've heard about, and in fact had experiences with the press, where they misinterpret a lot of what the subject says, or just misrepresent the subject altogether.

So when I researched BB's previous interviews, I was kinda happy to hear they are just straightforward questions, but with a probing curiosity. Her voice has no underlying tone, there's no agenda in her approach. However, she does have a point of view, and an insight that she reveals by her questions, and even re-asking or re-phrasing her inquiries to get at a deeper meaning. I like how she's almost indelicate, but it sounds like it's because she knows there's more truth beneath the surface. And although BB remains objective, she still relates to her subject and has a rapport that you hear in their willingness to be so forthcoming.

Lenny's story really touched me because of how he has a doomed outlook but wants to help others. He is haunted by, and fears God's judgement of, the atrocities he participated in during his time in Vietnam. The ambient noises during their talk are subtle, and a little ironic. Sirens when Lenny fears death; birds chirping as he tells how miserable his life can be. As heartbreaking as it is, his reverence for Israel Kamakawiwo'ole surprises BB for a second, that she has to laugh.
Lenny lives by a code to help and love others, in spite of his country's betrayal of himself and the others who fell victim to the politics of Vietnam, as well as the bureaucracy and economics of the Veterans' Administration. The interview displays so many moods and life lessons that it takes you on a tumultuous ride. Their talk ends with her question of how Lenny wants to be remembered. Strangely, it's something I relate to, and then it kind of vaguely trails off.
I'm not sure what direction BB Kim will be taking with her new project, and I doubt that I'll have the same impact on her listeners as Lenny or her other subjects. Even if we don't ever get together and talk, interviews are my favourite form of journalism, in print and on video. I'm glad and even inspired to have made contact with BB.

Shaka Talk #6 ~ 20 Minute HIV Test

2009-11-16T14:24:00.000-08:00

December 1 is World AIDS Day, in fact, the whole month of December marks an international effort to raise HIV and AIDS awareness. In that spirit, we invited Life Foundation to be guests on our show to give me the 20 minute HIV test.

Shaka Talk #6 is finally upp on youtube and airing on Olelo Channel 52 Thursday nights at midnight thru to mid-December. It can also be streamed live or on demand at http://www.olelo.org/ .

Jaimie Callahan from Life Foundation had just barely gotten back from her honeymoon when she was asked to represent the HIV/AIDS organization during our taping. Love was still lingering as you can see in her sparkling smile and radiant eyes. I think that's what distracted Jaimie from swabbing my mouth before asking me all those juicy questions. So unfortunately, I wasn't able to get my test results before the show was over. We still had fun though, and hopefully were able to demonstrate how easy the test is, plus prepared our viewers for the test, should they decide to get one.

Normally when being tested at Life Foundation, it would only be the client and the counsellor alone together. The test results, and question and answer session are usually private and confidential. But for the purposes of our show, I had my sister Edna Mc Man in the studio to make sure I kept things moving along, and to ask important questions in case I forgot.

*Does this make any sense? Whatever. Watch the show and leave a comment to let us know what you think:

Shaka Talk #6, part 1 of 3

Shaka Talk #6, part 2 of 3

Shaka Talk #6, part 3 of 3

When conceptualizing the episode, I'd hoped to get get a few points across, I hope we were successful, but just to clarify.:

1)It's FREE!

2) NO needles! The main thing I wanted to stress was how quick and simple the new test is. The Ora-Quick oral swab test involves no needles or blood, and you get your results back in 20 minutes. You don't have to call or come back for results, and if you test positive, Life Foundation can hook you upp with the help you might need.

3) On The Go! You don't have to visit the Life Foundation to take the test. If you just call them at 808-521-2437 (521-AIDS), they can set upp a meeting anywhere you like, and give you the test and your results there and then.

4) HIV is submitted in 3 basic ways:
a) from mother to child (during pregnancy or childbirth)
b) unprotected sex (vaginal, oral or anal)
c) blood to blood (IV drug needles, bloody fights, and rarely but maybe thru blood transfusions)

5) Easy ways to avoid contracting HIV include the following:
a) using a condom or latex barrier during anal/oral/vaginal sex
b) using clean needles (and not sharing them) if you inject IV drugs
c) engaging in non-penetrative intimacy
d) abstaining from sex

6) The test is actually looking for HIV antibodies. Your immune system produces antibodies to fight off infection. If HIV antibodies are in your blood, a follow-upp test would be conducted to confirm whether or not you've been exposed to HIV, the virus that leads to AIDS

7) AIDS itself is not a disease. Like the name says, it's an Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. That means that a person exhibits "a collection of signs or symptoms or diseases, that you would get when your immune system is compromised."
By coming into contact with the HIV virus, your body's natural defenses against disease become weakened because it's fighting a virus that can't be killed. This would lead to your developing certain ailments that a healthy immune system would be able to fight off easily ("opportunistic diseases").

Therefore, if your blood contains HIV antibodies, or you have a low T-cell count (disease fighting cells), plus any of a list of "opportunistic diseases", these signs would indicate that you have Acquired an Immune Deficiency.

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For more information, or help visit the following:

Life Foundation
677 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 226
Honolulu, Hawaii 96813
Phone: (808) 521-2437
TTY: (808) 853-3275
Fax: (808) 521-1279
http://www.lifefoundation.org/
email: info@lifefoundation.org

Kulia Na Mamo
Ohia Building (Fort Street Mall)
1149 Bethel Street Suite 300
Honolulu, HI 96813
Phone: (808)791-2020
Fax: (808)791-2021
http://www.kulianamamo.org/
email: info@kulianamamo.org

CHOW Project (Community Health Outreach Workers)
33 S King St #313
Honolulu, HI 96813-4323
Phone: (808) 848-2469
hawaii.gov page
and/or
CHOW pdf

Shaka Tour

2009-11-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

I had to use my airline miles before they expired, so I spent this past Halloween in Los Angeles, hanging with family and having fun. Since I was there, I decided to do some remote interviews for future episodes of Shaka Talk. It was fun, but also a lot of work: scheduling, driving, dragging upp...and now my least favourite part: editing! I did get some good stuff, though, which I think is cute and entertaining. Here's a preview of the episodes I hope to air sometime in early mid 2010.

A.J. Catalano
www.ajcatalano.com

A.J. is a digital artist living in N. Hollywood, purty close to my bf's place, so we spent a lot of time together, and as such, he was my first interview. He grew upp a gay geek in New Orleans, and as a kid AJ became obsessed with TV, as well as collecting & deconstructing things. He turns found things into sculpture, and incorporates mechanical things to make them light upp and move. We talked about everything from Hurricane Katrina to his work on the new Disney movie/remake/sequel TRON. Here we are looking over some of his illustrations inspired by Star Trek that he hopes will be utilized in future productions.

Eric Mathews
www.myspace.com/sebastianheartsjane

My cuzzin Sean was gonna interview his singer/songwriter friend Eric Mathews for me until they found out I was coming to LA, so instead Sean & my auntie Elsa shot the interview while Eric's friend Kyle sat in as co-host. Through some Filipino connection, the new lead singer for Journey heard Eric's music and now he's got a slot opening for Journey in LA sometime in 2010. We talked about girls & songwriting, Filipino food, whether or not he's circumsized, and in the following clip I tricked him into telling me "I love you".

Elsa Almaraz
Star Bulletin Editorial

My auntie Elsi let me interview her in art her studio somewhere in the Pasadena area. She's a spiritual environmentalist who's done everything from painting, music, even has a fountain she constructed on display at Union Station in downtown LA. Along with discussions of her art, Elsi performed a shortened version of a "sound healing" on me. Felt weird. Much of our conversation centered around her late husband Carlos Almaraz, a painter himself, as well as a major figure in the Chicano movement. Carlos was in an activist/artist group called "Los Four" which included the father of Zack de la Rocha from Rage Against the Machine. Through this connection, Zack will be reading some of Carlos's journals, and even his art manifesto, in a film tribute to Carlos. In this video clip, Elsi sings "Garbage", a song she used to sing for me and my brother when we were growing upp. This is the last verse she couldn't remember when we first shot.

Jane Benney
IMDB profile

My final, and kinda rushed, interview was with actress/singer/songwriter Jane Benney. We met in Hawaii while working on my huzzbin Gerard Elmore's feature film "All For Melissa". Now she lives in LA, trying to make it as a performer, and what impressed me the most was not only how she wrote and recorded her new single "Staircases"; but also how she knows that in such a competitive field/city, you have to make things happen for yourself if you're ever gonna get noticed...hence she produced and funded her own music video to the single! Before we spoke on camera, I explained how I sometimes like to get a little racy, even racial, and wondered how she'd take it. Her response? "I'm from Africa. Bring it on!" I didn't get too tacky, but we did talk about 'dung' a lot.

Brown & Down

2009-10-24T05:40:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a credit card so I could order Nopoopital. I had to leave the KTUH party tonight to go take a dump. I coulda just went in the men's room behind Bale, but had too many hot drunk 19 year olds, and I didn't wanna cheat on The Girlfriends